{"id":101341,"date":"2020-04-23T10:27:58","date_gmt":"2020-04-23T08:27:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/?p=101341"},"modified":"2020-05-12T09:21:18","modified_gmt":"2020-05-12T07:21:18","slug":"new-country-new-identity-for-partners-of-academics","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/new-country-new-identity-for-partners-of-academics\/","title":{"rendered":"New country, new identity for partners of academics"},"content":{"rendered":"

They are the spouses \u2013 the wives, partners, husbands, boyfriends, and girlfriends \u2013 of the international professors and academics who get jobs at the University of Copenhagen.<\/p>\n

\n

\u2018spouse\u2019, \u2018Dual career\u2019. What do the words mean?<\/p>\n

A spouse<\/strong> is a wife or husband, but in this context is defined more broadly to include partners, boyfriends or girlfriends. In a university context it means a person who is accompanying a foreign researcher working at a university, whether married or not.<\/p>\n

A dual career couple<\/strong> is a couple where both partners pursue a career and aim to have paid employment.<\/p>\n

A\u00a02012 survey<\/a> <\/strong>of doctoral and postdoctoral students in Europe indicates that between 40 and 60 per cent of researchers who move abroad do so with a partner.<\/p>\n

The International Dual Career Network Copenhagen (IDCN) estimates that there are 10,000 unemployed spouses in the Copenhagen region.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Their own backgrounds range from associate professors in their own right, to engineers, technicians, and hairdressers. They are \u2013 indeed should be \u2013 attractive to Danish employers: as the partners of talented and successful people with international careers, they are most often highly talented and successful themselves. To top this, they bring a unique set of international skills that Danes will be hard pressed to match.<\/p>\n

But when a spouse follows a partner to Copenhagen, they have often had to say goodbye to their own social and professional network, and to give up their own jobs and network of friends. This means they have to jumpstart a new career in a completely new environment.<\/p>\n

Danes say they are flexible because they moved from Jutland to Copenhagen. But our dual career spouses have moved here from a different country, some from a different continent. Some of them speak five languages.<\/p>\n

Consultant Mary K. Kobia<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

This is where Mary K. Kobia and Mark de Vos, two consultants in the International Staff Mobility (ISM) unit of the University of Copenhagen (UCPH), come in. At one-on-one meetings and in larger group events, they help the partners of academics find their feet in Denmark. And through a wider network of Copenhagen businesses called the International Dual Career Network (IDCN) [See box below], they help companies, and spouses, find each other.<\/p>\n

Just before the Coronavirus pandemic had locked down Copenhagen, and brought the world to a standstill, Mary K. Kobia and Mark de Vos had invited me up to their office on the sixth floor of the International House in Copenhagen. Down below, trees shimmered as a February gust funneled out of the busy boulevard and emptied into the park.<\/p>\n

READ ALSO:<\/strong> Second time in Copenhagen after hardship and compromise<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

Employers should be scrambling for dual career spouses. And they do \u2013 but only when they get the chance to see what highly qualified, experienced people they are, according to Mary K. Kobia and Mark de Vos. Indeed, there can be something about people in this group that makes them uniquely hireable, relative to natives.<\/p>\n

As Mary K. Kobia puts it:<\/p>\n

\n

Partner to an academic<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/picture><\/p>\n

What is it like being a partner to an international academic that moves to Copenhagen? In a series of articles, the University Post looks at how spouses and couples manage a career with, or without, their global scientist partners<\/p>\n

Other articles in this series include:<\/p>\n

‘Second time in Copenhagen after hardship and compromise’<\/a>
\n‘Of 26 spouses, only two were men. He was one of them’<\/a>
\nCareer abroad or family, that was the question<\/a>
\nCareers split apart, but marriage held<\/a>
\nDifficult conversation coming up for long distance couple<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\u00bbDanes say they are flexible because they moved from Jutland to Copenhagen. But our dual career spouses have moved here from a different country, some from a different continent. Some of them speak five languages. Of course they can pick up the Danish language!\u00ab<\/p>\n

Reinventing yourself<\/h3>\n

The two consultants’ jobs are about bridging the gap between spouses\u2019 unique international experiences, and the needs of Danish employers. And over the years, they have helped hundreds of partners to UCPH employees make the transition and settle down in Denmark.<\/p>\n

On the surface it is all about matching spouses’ skills with workplaces. But this often entails a level of self-searching on the part of the spouse that goes much, much deeper than just finding a job in a new city.<\/p>\n

\u00bbComing to another country can set off new questions, a new look at your life situation, everything. It makes you ask yourself the big questions: \u2018Did I really make this choice?\u2019 Who I am I, and what do I really want to do with my life?\u00ab explains Mary K. Kobia.<\/p>\n

READ ALSO:<\/strong> Of 26 spouses, only two were men. He was one of them<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

Her colleague Mark de Vos elaborates on her point.<\/p>\n

\u00bbWhen people relocate, when you first come to Denmark, you are exposed. You are forced to confront yourself:\u00a0 Is this what I want to do? People suddenly have the time to reflect. It changes your perspective on who you are. It forces you to reinvent yourself,\u00ab he says.<\/p>\n

The move to Copenhagen may have come right after a couple has been forced to choose which partner\u2019s career will lead, and which will follow. A conversation, long-term decision, and sacrifice, that often boils down to the question \u2018whose job is more important?\u2019<\/a>\u00a0<\/strong>
\n
\nDenmark is known for being one of the countries in Europe with the highest living expenses. It is therefore crucial that both partners work.<\/p>\n

\u00bbBut what happens after a few months with no job?\u00ab Mark de Vos, elaborates. \u00bbYou may already be paying a high rent, as in Denmark most households have two salaries. And the money issues mean that you and your partner cannot travel back home so easily. Sometimes it can come as a surprise that you now really need to work for money, as your career choices up until this point in your life had been purely based on your own interests,\u00ab he says.<\/p>\n

\n

International Dual Career Network Copenhagen<\/p>\n

The business regional network International Dual Career Network Copenhagen<\/a><\/strong> (IDCN) includes some of the largest companies in Denmark.<\/p>\n

Harvard Business Review has featured IDCN here: Talent Management and the Dual-Career Couple<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Others, according to Mark de Vos, especially if they are the partners of academics who have relocated several times, may have unconsciously taken on the role of \u2019professional spouses\u2019.<\/p>\n

READ ALSO:<\/strong> Career abroad, or family: That was the question<\/a><\/p>\n

\u00bbSometimes, when they talk to us, they come to realize: \u2018I have been three years here, and two years here. I have put myself in the spouse role\u2019.\u00ab<\/p>\n

Some, according to Mary K. Kobia, may come to the realization that they were not actually happy with their previous career track.<\/p>\n

\u00bbPeople find out things in this situation, that they did not realize before. Maybe they followed their partner here, and they buy in to Denmark as a country to live in, but then suddenly realize that \u2018I didn\u2019t even like the job that I had.\u2019\u00ab<\/p>\n

Mary K. Kobia and Mark de Vos use the expressions \u2018Plan A\u2019 and \u2018Plan D\u2019 in their explanation to me, and in the more than 300 one-on-one consulting sessions they do with spouses every year in their offices at the International House Copenhagen.<\/p>\n

Article continues below<\/em>
\n
\nPlan A is the plan you have when you first come here. It is often a continuation of the trajectory that your career had before you moved with your partner. Plan D, on the other hand, is what you end up pursuing after your other options \u2013 plan A, B and C \u2013 don\u2019t work out. The point is that Plan D can be what you really want, deep down. Or, failing that, something that you at least end up finding more fulfilling.<\/p>\n

It might be the nurse who cannot get authorization because of the lack of Danish language skills, that ends up doing medical writing. What may seem like a step down or a step sideways, can be an opportunity to redefine yourself. Mark de Vos uses the example of a spouse, an associate professor back at home, who comes to Denmark:<\/p>\n

\u00bbAt the consultation she says, I also want to work doing piano lessons. Because the situation is different now I can pursue whatever I want. It is an opportunity for her, rather than a loss,\u00ab he explains.<\/p>\n

Growth mindset<\/h3>\n

At present, 65 per cent of the spouses in the Dual Career network at UCPH that Mark de Vos and Mary K. Kobia work with are women. In previous years, women have been even more predominant, with 90 per cent women in 2017<\/a>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

The numbers reflect that there are more men coming from abroad and taking up positions as academics in Copenhagen and bringing their partners with them. But the fact that women voluntarily come to Denmark as a partner to an academic, and seek the opportunities that come from the dual career network at UCPH, is worthy of praise, according to Mary K. Kobia.<\/p>\n

READ ALSO:<\/strong> Careers split apart, but marriage held<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

Maybe they followed their partner here, and they buy in to Denmark as a country to live in, but then suddenly realize that \u2018I didn\u2019t even like the job that I had.\u2019<\/p>\n

Consultant Mark de Vos<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

\u00bbWomen are often, in my mind, more adventurous. They say to themselves: I will work it out. Men, on the other hand, are often only willing to come if they have a job already. Maybe women\u2019s identities are more flexible and not solely related to their jobs.\u00ab<\/p>\n

Searching for a job, and starting from scratch in another country is a frame of mind. As Mary K. Kobia puts it. \u00bbDo you have a fixed mindset or a growth mindset?\u00ab<\/p>\n

Coming to a foreign country, and not surrounded by your past, it is easier to create a new narrative around yourself. And the two consultants actively encourage spouses to forge this new narrative.<\/p>\n

\u00bbA lot of men are good at this. They do something that you in Danish could call \u2018lyve-og-prale\u2019 \u2013 \u2018lie-and-brag\u2019 in one word. I encourage everybody to do that!\u00ab Mary K. Kobia laughs. \u00bbHey, companies do it themselves in their employer branding.\u00a0 They are, for example, quite good at boasting about the career and personal development opportunities and personal benefits at their workplaces.\u00ab<\/p>\n

A network that is not the partner’s network<\/h3>\n
\n

Dual career at UCPH<\/p>\n

At UCPH, 1.3 staff, (measured in full time equivalents \u2013 FTEs) work on dual career and integrations services for spouses. The so-called Dual Career Spouse Network<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

More than 600 registered active partners are part of the programme which is free of charge and offered to international scientific staff, from PhD students upwards.<\/p>\n

65 per cent are women.<\/p>\n

The dual career services is offered by ISM<\/a><\/strong>, a unit at UCPH that supports scientists and their partners with integration matters like residence permit, housing childcare and school, tax and pension, banking and insurance, and health and medical care.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

For partners in general, in business or in academia, who do persevere through the harried times of a dual career, there is light at the end of the tunnel. According to a McKinsey study of dual career couples<\/strong><\/a>, if they find jobs that offer flexibility and support to power through the \u2018rush hour\u2019 years of relocation and young children, they are likely to come out successful and happy on the other side \u2014 and to remain loyal to their employers.<\/p>\n

Academics moving to Copenhagen typically start off with only a network among their academic colleagues. This can be trying for the partners who moved with them, as this, already limited, group can be the only network that partners have access to.<\/p>\n

\u00bbThe function that we fulfill here at ISM is to give people an outlet, a network that is not connected to their partner\u2019s network. And people tell us it is wonderful. To have a place to go that is not connected to their partners\u2019 colleagues. They say it is fantastic to have a place to go where the focus is on \u2018me\u2019 and not on my academic partner\u2019s place of work,\u00ab Mark de Vos says.<\/p>\n

A lot of men are good at this. They do something that you in Danish could call \u2018lyve-og-prale\u2019 \u2013 \u2018lie-and-brag\u2019 in one word. I encourage everybody to do that!<\/p>\n

Consultant Mary K. Kobia<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

\u00bbI believe that our biggest mission with our extensive dual career program is to continue providing support and inspiration, and try to create excitement and energy around the spouses\u2019 job search. We can see these services have a profound impact in terms of attracting and retaining international talent to Denmark,\u00ab Mark de Vos adds.<\/p>\n

Unlike many other universities, according to Mark de Vos and Mary K. Kobia, the University of Copenhagen has real dual career services, not just something that the university brags about with airbrushed happy photos on a website.<\/p>\n

READ ALSO:<\/strong> Difficult conversation coming up for long distance couple<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

This is fulfilling for them as consultants. And it works for the spouses, according to Mary K. Kobia:<\/p>\n

\u00bbWe meet people in their lowest of lows, but also in their highest of highs. It is in this journey we get to see the most beautiful transformations and changes when a spouse suddenly gets a job or starts volunteering, networking and building meaningful relationships and connections socially and professionally.\u00ab
\n<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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a partner to a new country as a spouse is tough. Yet it can also be an opportunity: for the spouse, and for the Danish company that hires them, say two university consultants who help the partners of international academics in Copenhagen","use_post_excerpt":false},{"acf_fc_layout":"Byline","is_author":true,"contributors":false},{"acf_fc_layout":"Content","content":"<p>They are the spouses \u2013 the wives, partners, husbands, boyfriends, and girlfriends \u2013 of the international professors and academics who get jobs at the University of Copenhagen.<\/p>\n<div class=\"factbox\">\n<p class=\"factbox-header feature-color\">\u2018spouse\u2019, \u2018Dual career\u2019. What do the words mean?<\/p>\n<p>A <strong>spouse<\/strong> is a wife or husband, but in this context is defined more broadly to include partners, boyfriends or girlfriends. In a university context it means a person who is accompanying a foreign researcher working at a university, whether married or not.<\/p>\n<p>A <strong>dual career couple<\/strong> is a couple where both partners pursue a career and aim to have paid employment.<\/p>\n<p>A<strong>\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/cordis.europa.eu\/project\/id\/324285\/reporting\/es\">2012 survey<\/a> <\/strong>of doctoral and postdoctoral students in Europe indicates that between 40 and 60 per cent of researchers who move abroad do so with a partner.<\/p>\n<p>The International Dual Career Network Copenhagen (IDCN) estimates that there are 10,000 unemployed spouses in the Copenhagen region.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>Their own backgrounds range from associate professors in their own right, to engineers, technicians, and hairdressers. They are \u2013 indeed should be \u2013 attractive to Danish employers: as the partners of talented and successful people with international careers, they are most often highly talented and successful themselves. To top this, they bring a unique set of international skills that Danes will be hard pressed to match.<\/p>\n<p>But when a spouse follows a partner to Copenhagen, they have often had to say goodbye to their own social and professional network, and to give up their own jobs and network of friends. This means they have to jumpstart a new career in a completely new environment.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Danes say they are flexible because they moved from Jutland to Copenhagen. But our dual career spouses have moved here from a different country, some from a different continent. Some of them speak five languages.<\/p>\n<p class=\"quotee\">Consultant Mary K. Kobia<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>This is where Mary K. Kobia and Mark de Vos, two consultants in the International Staff Mobility (ISM) unit of the University of Copenhagen (UCPH), come in. At one-on-one meetings and in larger group events, they help the partners of academics find their feet in Denmark. And through a wider network of Copenhagen businesses called the International Dual Career Network (IDCN) [See box below], they help companies, and spouses, find each other.<\/p>\n<p>Just before the Coronavirus pandemic had locked down Copenhagen, and brought the world to a standstill, Mary K. Kobia and Mark de Vos had invited me up to their office on the sixth floor of the International House in Copenhagen. Down below, trees shimmered as a February gust funneled out of the busy boulevard and emptied into the park.<\/p>\n<p><strong>READ ALSO:<\/strong> <em><a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/second-time-in-copenhagen-after-hardship-and-compromise\/\">Second time in Copenhagen after hardship and compromise<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n<p>Employers should be scrambling for dual career spouses. And they do \u2013 but only when they get the chance to see what highly qualified, experienced people they are, according to Mary K. Kobia and Mark de Vos. Indeed, there can be something about people in this group that makes them uniquely hireable, relative to natives.<\/p>\n<p>As Mary K. Kobia puts it:<\/p>\n<div class=\"factbox\">\n<p class=\"factbox-header feature-color\">Partner to an academic<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"700\" height=\"445\" class=\"alignnone size-narrow wp-image-103994\" src=\"http:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/vignet_web-700x445.jpg\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/vignet_web-700x445.jpg 700w, https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/vignet_web-480x305.jpg 480w, https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/vignet_web-1280x814.jpg 1280w, https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/vignet_web-768x489.jpg 768w, https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/vignet_web-1536x977.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/vignet_web-290x185.jpg 290w, https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/vignet_web-990x630.jpg 990w, https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/vignet_web.jpg 1600w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 700px) 100vw, 700px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>What is it like being a partner to an international academic that moves to Copenhagen? In a series of articles, the University Post looks at how spouses and couples manage a career with, or without, their global scientist partners<\/p>\n<p>Other articles in this series include:<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/second-time-in-copenhagen-after-hardship-and-compromise\/\">‘Second time in Copenhagen after hardship and compromise’<\/a><br \/>\n<a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/of-26-spouses-only-two-were-men-he-was-one-of-them\/\">‘Of 26 spouses, only two were men. He was one of them’<\/a><br \/>\n<a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/career-abroad-or-family-that-was-the-question\/\">Career abroad or family, that was the question<\/a><br \/>\n<a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/careers-split-apart-but-marriage-held\/\">Careers split apart, but marriage held<\/a><br \/>\n<a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/difficult-conversation-coming-up-for-long-distance-couple\/\">Difficult conversation coming up for long distance couple<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>\u00bbDanes say they are flexible because they moved from Jutland to Copenhagen. But our dual career spouses have moved here from a different country, some from a different continent. Some of them speak five languages. Of course they can pick up the Danish language!\u00ab<\/p>\n<h3>Reinventing yourself<\/h3>\n<p>The two consultants’ jobs are about bridging the gap between spouses\u2019 unique international experiences, and the needs of Danish employers. And over the years, they have helped hundreds of partners to UCPH employees make the transition and settle down in Denmark.<\/p>\n<p>On the surface it is all about matching spouses’ skills with workplaces. But this often entails a level of self-searching on the part of the spouse that goes much, much deeper than just finding a job in a new city.<\/p>\n<p>\u00bbComing to another country can set off new questions, a new look at your life situation, everything. It makes you ask yourself the big questions: \u2018Did I really make this choice?\u2019 Who I am I, and what do I really want to do with my life?\u00ab explains Mary K. Kobia.<\/p>\n<p><strong>READ ALSO:<\/strong> <em><a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/of-26-spouses-only-two-were-men-he-was-one-of-them\/\">Of 26 spouses, only two were men. He was one of them<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n<p>Her colleague Mark de Vos elaborates on her point.<\/p>\n<p>\u00bbWhen people relocate, when you first come to Denmark, you are exposed. You are forced to confront yourself:\u00a0 Is this what I want to do? People suddenly have the time to reflect. It changes your perspective on who you are. It forces you to reinvent yourself,\u00ab he says.<\/p>\n<p>The move to Copenhagen may have come right after a couple has been forced to choose which partner\u2019s career will lead, and which will follow. A conversation, long-term decision, and sacrifice, that often <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/hbr.org\/2018\/05\/talent-management-and-the-dual-career-couple\">boils down to the question \u2018whose job is more important?\u2019<\/a>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n"},{"acf_fc_layout":"Quote","quote":"Coming to another country can set off new questions, a new look at your life situation, everything. It makes you ask yourself the big questions: \u2018Did I really make this choice?\u2019 Who I am I, and what do I really want to do with my life?","quotee":"Consultant Mary K. Kobia","style":"extended"},{"acf_fc_layout":"Content","content":"<p>Denmark is known for being one of the countries in Europe with the highest living expenses. It is therefore crucial that both partners work.<\/p>\n<p>\u00bbBut what happens after a few months with no job?\u00ab Mark de Vos, elaborates. \u00bbYou may already be paying a high rent, as in Denmark most households have two salaries. And the money issues mean that you and your partner cannot travel back home so easily. Sometimes it can come as a surprise that you now really need to work for money, as your career choices up until this point in your life had been purely based on your own interests,\u00ab he says.<\/p>\n<div class=\"factbox\">\n<p class=\"factbox-header feature-color\">International Dual Career Network Copenhagen<\/p>\n<p>The business regional network <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/www.idcn.info\/our-locations\/copenhagen-denmark.aspx\">International Dual Career Network Copenhagen<\/a><\/strong> (IDCN) includes some of the largest companies in Denmark.<\/p>\n<p>Harvard Business Review has featured IDCN here: <a href=\"https:\/\/hbr.org\/2018\/05\/talent-management-and-the-dual-career-couple\"><strong>Talent Management and the Dual-Career Couple<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>Others, according to Mark de Vos, especially if they are the partners of academics who have relocated several times, may have unconsciously taken on the role of \u2019professional spouses\u2019.<\/p>\n<p><strong>READ ALSO:<\/strong> <a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/career-abroad-or-family-that-was-the-question\/\">Career abroad, or family: That was the question<\/a><\/p>\n<p>\u00bbSometimes, when they talk to us, they come to realize: \u2018I have been three years here, and two years here. I have put myself in the spouse role\u2019.\u00ab<\/p>\n<p>Some, according to Mary K. Kobia, may come to the realization that they were not actually happy with their previous career track.<\/p>\n<p>\u00bbPeople find out things in this situation, that they did not realize before. Maybe they followed their partner here, and they buy in to Denmark as a country to live in, but then suddenly realize that \u2018I didn\u2019t even like the job that I had.\u2019\u00ab<\/p>\n<p>Mary K. Kobia and Mark de Vos use the expressions \u2018Plan A\u2019 and \u2018Plan D\u2019 in their explanation to me, and in the more than 300 one-on-one consulting sessions they do with spouses every year in their offices at the International House Copenhagen.<\/p>\n<p><em>Article continues below<\/em><\/p>\n"},{"acf_fc_layout":"Image","image":{"ID":101358,"id":101358,"title":"markogmary_web","filename":"dsc5487_dxo_markogmary_web.jpg","filesize":229652,"url":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/dsc5487_dxo_markogmary_web.jpg","link":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/new-country-new-identity-for-partners-of-academics\/_dsc5487_dxo_mark-og-mary_web\/","alt":"","author":"9","description":"","caption":"","name":"_dsc5487_dxo_mark-og-mary_web","status":"inherit","uploaded_to":101341,"date":"2020-03-03 10:01:54","modified":"2020-04-26 17:28:40","menu_order":0,"mime_type":"image\/jpeg","type":"image","subtype":"jpeg","icon":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/wp-includes\/images\/media\/default.png","width":1600,"height":1124,"sizes":{"thumbnail":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/dsc5487_dxo_markogmary_web-150x150.jpg","thumbnail-width":150,"thumbnail-height":150,"medium":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/dsc5487_dxo_markogmary_web-480x337.jpg","medium-width":480,"medium-height":337,"medium_large":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/dsc5487_dxo_markogmary_web-768x540.jpg","medium_large-width":768,"medium_large-height":540,"large":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/dsc5487_dxo_markogmary_web-1280x899.jpg","large-width":1280,"large-height":899,"1536x1536":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/dsc5487_dxo_markogmary_web-1536x1079.jpg","1536x1536-width":1536,"1536x1536-height":1079,"2048x2048":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/dsc5487_dxo_markogmary_web.jpg","2048x2048-width":1600,"2048x2048-height":1124,"featured-soft":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/dsc5487_dxo_markogmary_web-290x204.jpg","featured-soft-width":290,"featured-soft-height":204,"featured-hard":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/dsc5487_dxo_markogmary_web-290x180.jpg","featured-hard-width":290,"featured-hard-height":180,"narrow":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/dsc5487_dxo_markogmary_web-700x492.jpg","narrow-width":700,"narrow-height":492,"extended":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/dsc5487_dxo_markogmary_web-990x695.jpg","extended-width":990,"extended-height":695}},"style":"narrow","text_placement":"metadata-below","image_link_url":"","image_link_title":"","caption_prefix":"","enable_alternative_caption":true,"alternative_caption":"Consultants Mark de Vos and Mary K. Kobia"},{"acf_fc_layout":"Content","content":"<p>Plan A is the plan you have when you first come here. It is often a continuation of the trajectory that your career had before you moved with your partner. Plan D, on the other hand, is what you end up pursuing after your other options \u2013 plan A, B and C \u2013 don\u2019t work out. The point is that Plan D can be what you really want, deep down. Or, failing that, something that you at least end up finding more fulfilling.<\/p>\n<p>It might be the nurse who cannot get authorization because of the lack of Danish language skills, that ends up doing medical writing. What may seem like a step down or a step sideways, can be an opportunity to redefine yourself. Mark de Vos uses the example of a spouse, an associate professor back at home, who comes to Denmark:<\/p>\n<p>\u00bbAt the consultation she says, I also want to work doing piano lessons. Because the situation is different now I can pursue whatever I want. It is an opportunity for her, rather than a loss,\u00ab he explains.<\/p>\n<h3>Growth mindset<\/h3>\n<p>At present, 65 per cent of the spouses in the Dual Career network at UCPH that Mark de Vos and Mary K. Kobia work with are women. In previous years, women have been even more predominant, <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.universityworldnews.com\/post.php?story=20170228001105916\">with 90 per cent women in 2017<\/a>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>The numbers reflect that there are more men coming from abroad and taking up positions as academics in Copenhagen and bringing their partners with them. But the fact that women voluntarily come to Denmark as a partner to an academic, and seek the opportunities that come from the dual career network at UCPH, is worthy of praise, according to Mary K. Kobia.<\/p>\n<p><strong>READ ALSO:<\/strong> <em><a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/careers-split-apart-but-marriage-held\/\">Careers split apart, but marriage held<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Maybe they followed their partner here, and they buy in to Denmark as a country to live in, but then suddenly realize that \u2018I didn\u2019t even like the job that I had.\u2019<\/p>\n<p class=\"quotee\">Consultant Mark de Vos<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>\u00bbWomen are often, in my mind, more adventurous. They say to themselves: I will work it out. Men, on the other hand, are often only willing to come if they have a job already. Maybe women\u2019s identities are more flexible and not solely related to their jobs.\u00ab<\/p>\n<p>Searching for a job, and starting from scratch in another country is a frame of mind. As Mary K. Kobia puts it. \u00bbDo you have a fixed mindset or a growth mindset?\u00ab<\/p>\n<p>Coming to a foreign country, and not surrounded by your past, it is easier to create a new narrative around yourself. And the two consultants actively encourage spouses to forge this new narrative.<\/p>\n<p>\u00bbA lot of men are good at this. They do something that you in Danish could call \u2018lyve-og-prale\u2019 \u2013 \u2018lie-and-brag\u2019 in one word. I encourage everybody to do that!\u00ab Mary K. Kobia laughs. \u00bbHey, companies do it themselves in their employer branding.\u00a0 They are, for example, quite good at boasting about the career and personal development opportunities and personal benefits at their workplaces.\u00ab<\/p>\n<h3>A network that is not the partner’s network<\/h3>\n<div class=\"factbox\">\n<p class=\"factbox-header feature-color\">Dual career at UCPH<\/p>\n<p>At UCPH, 1.3 staff, (measured in full time equivalents \u2013 FTEs) work on dual career and integrations services for spouses. The so-called <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/ism.ku.dk\/dual-career\/\">Dual Career Spouse Network<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>More than 600 registered active partners are part of the programme which is free of charge and offered to international scientific staff, from PhD students upwards.<\/p>\n<p>65 per cent are women.<\/p>\n<p>The dual career services is offered by <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/ism.ku.dk\/\">ISM<\/a><\/strong>, a unit at UCPH that supports scientists and their partners with integration matters like residence permit, housing childcare and school, tax and pension, banking and insurance, and health and medical care.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>For partners in general, in business or in academia, who do persevere through the harried times of a dual career, there is light at the end of the tunnel. According to a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.mckinsey.com\/business-functions\/organization\/our-insights\/how-dual-career-couples-find-fulfillment-at-work?cid=other-eml-alt-mip-mck&hlkid=8dcb3ac3f4a44554b40b6ced007f6ace&hctky=11496106&hdpid=7877e521-31fd-49ae-9a85-a6ed71ff22bf\"><strong>McKinsey study of dual career couples<\/strong><\/a>, if they find jobs that offer flexibility and support to power through the \u2018rush hour\u2019 years of relocation and young children, they are likely to come out successful and happy on the other side \u2014 and to remain loyal to their employers.<\/p>\n<p>Academics moving to Copenhagen typically start off with only a network among their academic colleagues. This can be trying for the partners who moved with them, as this, already limited, group can be the only network that partners have access to.<\/p>\n<p>\u00bbThe function that we fulfill here at ISM is to give people an outlet, a network that is not connected to their partner\u2019s network. And people tell us it is wonderful. To have a place to go that is not connected to their partners\u2019 colleagues. They say it is fantastic to have a place to go where the focus is on \u2018me\u2019 and not on my academic partner\u2019s place of work,\u00ab Mark de Vos says.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>A lot of men are good at this. They do something that you in Danish could call \u2018lyve-og-prale\u2019 \u2013 \u2018lie-and-brag\u2019 in one word. I encourage everybody to do that!<\/p>\n<p class=\"quotee\">Consultant Mary K. Kobia<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>\u00bbI believe that our biggest mission with our extensive dual career program is to continue providing support and inspiration, and try to create excitement and energy around the spouses\u2019 job search. We can see these services have a profound impact in terms of attracting and retaining international talent to Denmark,\u00ab Mark de Vos adds.<\/p>\n<p>Unlike many other universities, according to Mark de Vos and Mary K. Kobia, the University of Copenhagen has real dual career services, not just something that the university brags about with airbrushed happy photos on a website.<\/p>\n<p><strong>READ ALSO:<\/strong> <em><a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/difficult-conversation-coming-up-for-long-distance-couple\/\">Difficult conversation coming up for long distance couple<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n<p>This is fulfilling for them as consultants. And it works for the spouses, according to Mary K. Kobia:<\/p>\n<p>\u00bbWe meet people in their lowest of lows, but also in their highest of highs. It is in this journey we get to see the most beautiful transformations and changes when a spouse suddenly gets a job or starts volunteering, networking and building meaningful relationships and connections socially and professionally.\u00ab<\/p>\n"},{"acf_fc_layout":"ArticleEnd"},{"acf_fc_layout":"OtherStories","headline":"","hand_picked_posts":true,"references":[{"reference":{"ID":100144,"post_author":"9","post_date":"2020-04-23 10:29:18","post_date_gmt":"2020-04-23 08:29:18","post_content":"Roberta Distante was on a beer night with her PhD colleagues during a 3-day course in Denmark 10 years ago.\r\n\r\n\u00bbThe guy said it in a loud voice, in front of everyone,\u00ab she recalls. \u00bbHe said: \u2018I am still wondering whether you got your PhD scholarship only because your husband was a professor in the department.\u2019\u00ab\r\n<div class=\"factbox\">\r\n<p class=\"factbox-header feature-color\">Partner to an academic<\/p>\r\n<img class=\"alignnone size-narrow wp-image-103994\" src=\"http:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/vignet_web-700x445.jpg\" alt=\"\" \/>\r\n\r\nWhat is it like being a partner to an international academic that moves to Copenhagen? In this series of articles, the University Post looks at how spouses and couples manage a career with, or without, their global scientist partners.\r\n\r\nOther articles in this series include:\r\n\r\n<a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/new-country-new-identity-for-partners-of-academics\/\">'New country, new identity for partners of academics'<\/a>\r\n<a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/of-26-spouses-only-two-were-men-he-was-one-of-them\/\">Of 26 spouses, only two were men. He was one of them<\/a>\r\n<a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/careers-split-apart-but-marriage-held\/\">Careers split apart, but marriage held<\/a>\r\n<a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/career-abroad-or-family-that-was-the-question\/\">Career abroad or family, that was the question<\/a>\r\n<a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/difficult-conversation-coming-up-for-long-distance-couple\/\">Difficult conversation coming up for long distance couple<\/a>\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\n\u00bbThen I realized, suddenly, that there was this perception that I had only been able to do my PhD because my husband was hired here at the University of Copenhagen. But I had earned my MSc in Economics at University College London, one of the most demanding courses in Europe.\u00ab\r\n\r\nIt is 8 am in the morning and we are inside a caf\u00e9 as people rush to work through the Copenhagen drizzle.\r\n\r\nThese are hard times to reflect on. But Roberta Distante relays these anecdotes to me smiling. Laughing even, as she relives these first experiences in Denmark before she pops off for her own day of work analyzing customer data in the black box Nordea building overlooking the harbour.\r\n\r\nShe is a \u00bbsocial animal\u00ab, she says, and recounts how this contrasted with the Danish peers she met while she was a PhD fellow back in 2008.\r\n<h3>Wanted job in 'the City'<\/h3>\r\nRoberta Distante and her husband Emiliano were teenage sweethearts.\r\n\r\nThey started dating when she was 17, and he was 20, in Mesagne, the town where they grew up, down on the heel of Italy\u2019s boot.\r\n\r\n\u00bbHe was an extremely determined person, and one of the reasons why I myself got passionate about the field of economics. And economics turned out not to be a bad choice for me, even though I have also always been interested in literature and the arts.\u00ab\r\n\r\n<strong>READ ALSO:<\/strong><em> <a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/new-country-new-identity-for-partners-of-academics\/\">New country, new identity for partners of academics<\/a><\/em>\r\n\r\n\u00bbWe set out our goals together. But when the opportunity came for him to do his MSc at the University of York, in Britain, he took it. I, in turn, had moved to the north of Italy to go to the University of Bologna. Then, a year after, he started a PhD in Cambridge.\u00ab\r\n<blockquote>There were periods when we did not see a future together. But in the end our relationship was stronger.\r\n<p class=\"quotee\">Roberta Distante<\/p>\r\n <\/blockquote>\r\n\u00bbFrom a relationship point of view, this was tough. And there were periods when we did not see a future together. But in the end our relationship was stronger. I moved to London to do a master\u2019s at UCL, as I wanted to learn more about how to quantitatively explain individuals\u2019 choices using probabilistic theory, something called \u2018microeconometrics\u2019. But I also moved to London to be closer to him.\u00ab\r\n\r\n\u00bbI thought at the time, that he was going to finish his PhD, and I was going to get a good job in the city of London. The challenge for Emiliano was to find a new academic position that suited him and that was at the same time close to me. He applied all over the world though, telling me: This is how it works. This is the academic job market.\u00ab\r\n\r\nAs it happened, her husband Emiliano ended up getting invited to a dozen interviews: From Istanbul to Lisbon, from Washington to Copenhagen.\r\n\r\nIt was then that he popped the question.\r\n<h3>'Social animal' suffered in Denmark<\/h3>\r\n\u00bbHe asked me: \u2018Will you marry me?\u2019\u00ab\r\n\r\n\u00bbWe were living apart, and it was time that we decided whether we can have a joint life together or continue making those kind of compromises. We had both invested resources in our career, and I think that it was also, for him, a way to tell me that I had more leverage in determining how our future in common should be.\u00ab\r\n\r\n<strong>READ ALSO:<\/strong> <em><a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/careers-split-apart-but-marriage-held\/\">Careers split apart, but marriage held<\/a><\/em>\r\n\r\n\u00bbI was quite sure, at the time, that I did not want to work in academia. I wanted to finish my master\u2019s degree and become economically independent. As we were now getting married, I could help decide where we could settle to grow a family and pursue our career goals as a couple.\u00ab\r\n\r\nHe turned down the possibility to apply to appealing jobs in US institutions after a long conversation with Roberta.\r\n\r\nEmiliano ended up taking an assistant professorship in Copenhagen, and after they both moved here, Roberta started looking for jobs. As it happened, a PhD scholarship turned up in her field in the same department as Emiliano. She applied and got the grant.\r\n\r\n\u00bbIt was so close to what I did in my master\u2019s and my interests, that I had to do it,\u00ab she says.\r\n\r\nIt was at this time that Roberta Distante faced a degree of social exclusion, and the tough, introverted, time in Copenhagen. It was here that she experienced the beer night episode that introduced this article, and the offhand comment that her own PhD was only due to her husband.\r\n\r\nThe social animal was suffering. And the self-confident woman that she was inside was suffering too, she explains:\r\n\r\n\u00bbI was coming from London, which was so rewarding socially, and it was lonely for me.\u00ab\r\n<h3>No regrets<\/h3>\r\nIn 2011, Emiliano and Roberta Distante moved back to Italy, and for three years the two of them lived in Milan doing further research. Then Emiliano was offered a new research grant in Copenhagen. Roberta was pregnant.\r\n\r\n\u00bbSo, I thought. Maybe this is the time to move back to Denmark! I have always embraced the Danish model and liked the work-life balance here.\u00ab\r\n\r\nHer first job was with the Danish shipping giant Maersk. Then she was offered a job working in the bank Nordea.\r\n\r\n\u00bbIt is applied data science. I spot patterns in customer behaviour and activity in our bank, and try to make them more satisfied,\u00ab she explains, adding that she is happy in Copenhagen, and that things are different for her now.\r\n<blockquote>US society does not resonate with me. The inequalities are too big, and I wouldn\u2019t like to raise my kids there. Two weeks of vacation a year? No. Not interested!\r\n<p class=\"quotee\">Roberta Distante<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\nShe doesn\u2019t regret the bad times. Neither does she regret that they did not go to, say, the United States, when they sifted through the many different offers for her husband\u2019s research. He sometimes jokes that he now would be working in the US Federal Reserve, but he is satisfied with his choice to come to Copenhagen, Roberta Distante says.\r\n\r\nAnd so is she.\r\n\r\n\u00bbUS society does not resonate with me. The inequalities are too big, and I wouldn\u2019t like to raise my kids there. Two weeks of vacation a year? No. Not interested!\u00ab\r\n\r\n\u00bbIn the end, Emiliano agreed with me. There was more potential in Copenhagen.\u00ab\r\n\r\nThe couple now have \u00bblonger term plans in Denmark,\u00ab she says.\r\n\r\n\u00bbNow that we are settled, Copenhagen is becoming more vibrant and international, and as we raise our daughter Elettra Desdemona, the conviction that we should stay here has become even stronger.\u00ab\n<!-- end of module 1 -->\n","post_title":"Second time in Copenhagen after hardship and compromise","post_excerpt":"After economist Roberta Distante has found the good life with her husband and child, she can look back at the hard times.","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","post_password":"","post_name":"second-time-in-copenhagen-after-hardship-and-compromise","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2020-05-18 14:57:10","post_modified_gmt":"2020-05-18 12:57:10","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"http:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/?p=100144","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}},{"reference":{"ID":100747,"post_author":"9","post_date":"2020-04-29 09:23:29","post_date_gmt":"2020-04-29 07:23:29","post_content":"He was one of two men at a meeting for spouses at the International Dual Career Network in Copenhagen.\r\n\r\nNow Ricardo Mota (39), originally from Portugal, has just landed a job in his own specialty field. He is an engineer in the field of heating, ventilation, and air conditioning \u2013 an 'HVAC\u2019 engineer' for those in the know \u2013 at a company that works on ships, based in Copenhagen.\r\n<div class=\"factbox\">\r\n<p class=\"factbox-header feature-color\">Partner to an academic<\/p>\r\n<img class=\"alignnone size-narrow wp-image-103994\" src=\"http:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/vignet_web-700x445.jpg\" alt=\"\" \/>\r\n\r\nWhat is it like being a partner to an international academic that moves to Copenhagen? In this series of articles, the University Post looks at how spouses and couples manage a career with, or without, their global scientist partners.\r\n\r\nOther articles in this series include:\r\n\r\n<a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/new-country-new-identity-for-partners-of-academics\/\">'New country, new identity for partners of academics'<\/a>\r\n<a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/second-time-in-copenhagen-after-hardship-and-compromise\/\">Second time in Copenhagen after hardship and compromise<\/a>\r\n<a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/difficult-conversation-coming-up-for-long-distance-couple\/\">Difficult conversation coming up for long distance couple<\/a>\r\n<a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/careers-split-apart-but-marriage-held\/\">Careers split apart, but marriage held<\/a>\r\n<a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/career-abroad-or-family-that-was-the-question\/\">Career abroad or family, that was the question<\/a>\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\nHe has been in Copenhagen for over a year now, as man-at-home for his wife Ana and their two kids. Ana is doing her postdoctoral work as a microbiologist at the University of Copenhagen.\r\n\r\n<strong>READ ALSO:<\/strong> <a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/new-country-new-identity-for-partners-of-academics\/\"><em>New country, new identity for partners of academics<\/em><\/a>\r\n\r\nRicardo Mota has been spending his year in Copenhagen looking for a job, but with only limited success until a few weeks ago:\r\n\r\n\u00bbI sent 42 applications,\u00ab he says, smiling and joking as we sit down at the caf\u00e9 to talk about his story. \u00bbI got to a total of three interviews. And one 'coffee meeting'\u00ab he says.\r\n\r\n\u00bbBut then I ended up getting a job without even having to send a cover letter\u00ab.\r\n\r\nMore about that later.\r\n<h3>Never considered an academic career<\/h3>\r\nRicardo Mota and Ana\u2019s story goes way back, and they knew each other as teenagers. They started dating when were both 27 years old in their native city of Lisbon.\r\n<blockquote>I am almost at PhD level in my knowledge of microbiology, just from listening to my wife ... and as for Ana, she knows an awful lot about heating!\r\n<p class=\"quotee\">Ricardo Mota<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\nThey were not your typical couple: He had always wanted to put his engineering knowledge and skills to practical use, while she focused on her academic career as a microbiologist.\r\n\r\nRicardo Mota sums it up: \u00bbI like to build things and see them working, \u00ab he says, contrasting it with academia: \u00bband I like to be able to say 'we built this. And now it is finished!'\u00ab\r\n\r\n\u00bbI have never considered an academic career. You have to love your subject, and you don\u2019t choose to be a researcher as a job to support yourself. Academics are always looking for fellowships and grants, and the researcher lifestyle is not my thing,\u00ab he says.\r\n\r\n<strong>READ ALSO:<\/strong> <a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/second-time-in-copenhagen-after-hardship-and-compromise\/\"><em>Second time in Copenhagen after hardship and compromise<\/em><\/a>\r\n\r\nRicardo Mota started working to support himself when he was 18, and he never looked back, working his way through university and getting his first engineering-related job as soon as he had the degree for it.\r\n\r\nNow, he says, their differing career trajectories make for interesting conversations at home.\r\n\r\n\u00bbI am almost at PhD level in my knowledge of microbiology, just from listening to my wife,\u00ab he laughs, \u00bband as for Ana, she knows an awful lot about heating!\u00ab\r\n<h3>42 applications, three interviews<\/h3>\r\nIt was he that pushed the idea that they should go abroad.\r\n\r\n\u00bbIn Portugal you don\u2019t get recognized for your skills as a researcher. So when Ana got a Marie Curie fellowship, we moved to Copenhagen. I thought it would be easy for me to find a job, as I had always heard that there were a lot of jobs for engineers. Now I know it is not easy. And it is not easy for Danes either.\u00ab\r\n<blockquote>I think it had more to do with the competition. I was just applying to jobs where the number of applicants was very high.\r\n<p class=\"quotee\">Ricardo Mota<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\nRicardo Mota almost landed a job in Jutland. His employer even told him he was perfect for the job. But the long commute from Copenhagen would not be sustainable, and the employer knew it.\r\n\r\n<strong>READ ALSO:<\/strong> <em><a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/career-abroad-or-family-that-was-the-question\/\">Career abroad or family, that was the question\u00a0<\/a><\/em>\r\n\r\n\u00bbAt one point Ana and I decided we would put an endpoint on my job search. I should try for one more year. If I didn\u2019t have a job then, we would return to Portugal,\u00ab he says.\r\n\r\nRicardo Mota has a network back home in Portugal, and before they moved to Copenhagen he had been offered engineering opportunities in Mozambique, Angola and the United Arab Emirates. But these were opportunities that neither fit Ana\u2019s academic career, nor where they wanted to go to bring up their kids.\r\n\r\nIt has been a tough year, he admits.\r\n\r\nOf the 42 applications, he reckons that he should have got to an interview for at least half of them. As it happens, he only got to three job interviews.\r\n\r\n\u00bbI don\u2019t think it had anything to do with discrimination against me as a foreigner. I think it had more to do with the competition. I was just applying to jobs where the number of applicants was very high.\u00ab\r\n<h3>Not a gender thing<\/h3>\r\nThere have been upsides to having all this free time for Ricardo Mota . The two children, who are 5 and 7 and in kindergarten, see more of him.\r\n\r\n\u00bbI have been able to spend time with my kids, which is great. But when we discussed it, Ana knows that I didn\u2019t come to Copenhagen just to be a husband and a father, even though I try to be positive and understanding. For the first time since I was 18, I have been supported by another person. This is not a gender thing, but it was a challenge for me. It has been difficult to see myself in that position.\u00ab\r\n\r\n<strong>READ ALSO:<\/strong> <a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/careers-split-apart-but-marriage-held\/\"><em>Careers split apart, but marriage held<\/em><\/a>\r\n\r\nThe breakthrough came a few weeks ago. He was offered a job. No cover letter required, just a long process of interviews. The fact that he had studied Danish during the last year was the game changer, he says. And he can now call himself \u2018project engineer\u2019 on his business card, and can help support himself and his family again.\r\n\r\n\u00bbIt has been a tough year, but I now have a job, and I am happy.\u00ab\n<!-- end of module 1 -->\n","post_title":"Of 26 spouses, only two were men. He was one of them","post_excerpt":"Ricardo now has a job as an engineer after following his wife to Copenhagen for her academic career","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","post_password":"","post_name":"of-26-spouses-only-two-were-men-he-was-one-of-them","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2020-05-14 10:41:03","post_modified_gmt":"2020-05-14 08:41:03","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"http:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/?p=100747","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}},{"reference":{"ID":100731,"post_author":"9","post_date":"2020-05-04 08:03:18","post_date_gmt":"2020-05-04 06:03:18","post_content":"Wenjie Qian first fell for the field of chemistry when she was a high school student in China.\r\n\r\n\u00bbMy chemistry teacher told the class about gold. He said that a gold nugget the size of the tip of your little finger could be turned into a layer that would cover the whole of the classroom floor. Maybe you wouldn\u2019t be able to see it. But it would be there.\u00ab\r\n\r\nWenjie Qian was hooked.\r\n\r\nNow, many years later, she is doing an industrial postdoc at the University of Copenhagen (UCPH) in collaboration with SP Group. She is working on a project to industrially produce graphene \u2013 a substance that consists of a single layer of atoms in two dimensions that scientists think could be applied to a host of new technologies.\r\n<div class=\"factbox\">\r\n<p class=\"factbox-header feature-color\">Partner to an academic<\/p>\r\n<img class=\"alignnone size-narrow wp-image-103994\" src=\"http:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/vignet_web-700x445.jpg\" alt=\"\" \/>\r\n\r\nWhat is it like being a partner to an international academic that moves to Copenhagen? In this series of articles, the University Post looks at how spouses and couples manage a career with, or without, their global scientist partners.\r\n\r\nOther articles in this series include:\r\n\r\n<a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/new-country-new-identity-for-partners-of-academics\/\">'New country, new identity for partners of academics'<\/a>\r\n<a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/second-time-in-copenhagen-after-hardship-and-compromise\/\">Second time in Copenhagen after hardship and compromise<\/a>\r\n<a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/of-26-spouses-only-two-were-men-he-was-one-of-them\/\">Of 26 spouses, only two were men. He was one of them<\/a>\r\n<a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/difficult-conversation-coming-up-for-long-distance-couple\/\">Difficult conversation coming up for long distance couple<\/a>\r\n<a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/careers-split-apart-but-marriage-held\/\">Careers split apart, but marriage held<\/a>\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\nShe met the guy who was to become her husband in 2010 while working in a research lab at the Wuhan University of Technology. As a couple, they were lucky to both get a scholarship to do their PhDs at UAB, Universitat Aut\u00f2noma de Barcelona in Spain.\r\n\r\nIt was in 2018, in Barcelona when they were both finishing their PhDs, that they came to a crossroads. They needed to make a decision on how their career, and life together, should be.\r\n\r\n\u00bbLuckily for us we both have the same background, and our careers have run in parallel,\u00ab says Wenjie Qian. \u00bbWe did not have any major doubts about what we wanted to do. For his part, he wanted to continue his academic career. As for me, I was more uncertain about whether I wanted to continue in academia or to look for a job outside in industry.\u00ab\r\n\r\n<strong>READ ALSO:<\/strong><em> <a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/new-country-new-identity-for-partners-of-academics\/\">New country, new identity for partners of academics<\/a><\/em>\r\n\r\n\u00bbWe agreed that because he finished his PhD first, he should apply first, and see what happens.\u00ab\r\n<h3>Obligation to parents<\/h3>\r\nWenjie Qian and her husband Changyong did have some concerns about an international career. Like many others in China they have no brothers or sisters, and they felt an obligation to stay close to their parents.\r\n\r\n\u00bbBoth of us were only children. And in the beginning I wanted to go back to China after my PhD because I wanted to stay close to my family. But when I talked about it with my parents, they told me that my career was more important.\u00ab\r\n<blockquote>We call my father every day to see how things are going.\r\n<p class=\"quotee\">Wenjie Qian<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\nSo when Changyong was offered a postdoc position at UCPH in 2018, Wenjie Qian followed him to Copenhagen, right after her own PhD defence.\r\n\r\n<strong>READ ALSO:<\/strong> <a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/second-time-in-copenhagen-after-hardship-and-compromise\/\">Second time in Copenhagen after hardship and compromise<\/a>\r\n\r\nWhether it was through skill or just good fortune, Wenjie Qian did not spend a lot of time before she found work here.\r\n\r\n\u00bbI expanded my network, got help from Dual Career Services at the University of Copenhagen, and applied for a position as an industrial postdoc in my own field. This was my very first interview, and I got it!\u00ab she says.\r\n<h3>From virus-hit Hubei province<\/h3>\r\nWenjie Qian is right now on maternity leave. The couple have just had a baby \u2013 6 weeks old when Wenjie was interviewed for this article.\r\n\r\n\u00bbEven though we have been together for ten years and there are no other grandchildren in both families, we wanted to invest more in work and had no plans to have a child immediately. But we said if a baby comes, a baby comes.\u00ab\r\n\r\n<strong>READ ALSO<\/strong>: <a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/of-26-spouses-only-two-were-men-he-was-one-of-them\/\">Of 26 spouses, only two were men. He was one of them<\/a>\r\n\r\nHer mother came over from China in December to help out as much as possible.\r\n\r\nShe and her family come from the Hubei province, and their home city Suizhou was on lockdown, like nearby Wuhan, at time of writing after the coronavirus outbreak.\r\n\r\n\u00bbWe call my father every day to see how things are going, as in Hubei province the situation is very serious. It was up to the lunar new year celebrations, and we usually stock up with food at home, so I am not worried about my father's diet at this moment. But as no other close family members are around, he has been isolated alone at home for many days, and this is a psychological challenge,\u00ab she says.\r\n\r\nBesides, she does not want to put her mother at risk, and they plan to ask for an extension of her visa to avoid going back immediately to the virus-hit region.\r\n<h3>At the point of creation<\/h3>\r\nAs for the longer term, and her career plans for the future, Wenjie Qian says that \u00bbeven though China has developed rapidly in all aspects in recent years, and the treatment of highly educated talent is good, I have not yet made a decision on whether I will go back to China or not.\u00ab\r\n\r\nDoing the science is what Wenjie Qian is about.\r\n\r\n\u00bbMost of the daily research can seem boring on the surface. But boring, routine stuff can mean big changes in the chemical reactions. You are actually creating things. And sometimes, maybe! you get the feeling that you were the first person in the world to ever see something!\u00ab\n<!-- end of module 1 -->\n","post_title":"Career abroad, or family: That was the question","post_excerpt":"She was an only child and felt the need to return to China after finishing her PhD in Barcelona. But her family urged her to focus on her science.","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","post_password":"","post_name":"career-abroad-or-family-that-was-the-question","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2020-05-14 10:46:30","post_modified_gmt":"2020-05-14 08:46:30","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"http:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/?p=100731","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}},{"reference":{"ID":100114,"post_author":"9","post_date":"2020-05-07 09:56:09","post_date_gmt":"2020-05-07 07:56:09","post_content":"It was back in 2014. Plant scientist Javiera Aravena-Calvo suddenly heard the wail of a siren and felt the searing rush of adrenaline. She and her husband looked at each other:\u00a0 What was going on?\r\n\r\n\u00bbA neighbour shouted: 'Run to the shelter!' We ran, and waited there until the sirens stopped. We heard the explosions of the rockets being intercepted, and realized we were under attack from Gaza,\u00ab Javiera Aravena-Calvo remembers.\r\n<div class=\"factbox\">\r\n<p class=\"factbox-header feature-color\">Partner to an academic<\/p>\r\n<img class=\"alignnone size-narrow wp-image-103994\" src=\"http:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/vignet_web-700x445.jpg\" alt=\"\" \/>\r\n\r\nWhat is it like being a partner to an international academic that moves to Copenhagen? In a series of articles, the University Post looks at how spouses and couples manage a career with, or without, their global scientist partners\r\n\r\nOther articles in this series include:\r\n\r\n<a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/new-country-new-identity-for-partners-of-academics\/\">New country, new identity for partners of academics<\/a>\r\n<a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/second-time-in-copenhagen-after-hardship-and-compromise\/\">'Second time in Copenhagen after hardship and compromise'<\/a>\r\n<a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/of-26-spouses-only-two-were-men-he-was-one-of-them\/\">'Of 26 spouses, only two were men. He was one of them'<\/a>\r\n<a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/career-abroad-or-family-that-was-the-question\/\">Career abroad or family, that was the question<\/a>\r\n<a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/difficult-conversation-coming-up-for-long-distance-couple\/\">Difficult conversation coming up for long distance couple<\/a>\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\nOn other occasions, she saw Israeli Iron Dome missiles intercept incoming rockets, leaving the white cloud of the impact behind.\r\n\r\n\u00bbWe even got some of the debris of rockets on our Faculty. It was all very shocking for me and something I could not get used to during those weeks of conflict.\u00ab\r\n<h3>Israel was her idea, but he got the PhD<\/h3>\r\nThere were other reasons to leave Israel though.\r\n\r\nHer husband Pablo\u2019s career as a plant biologist had surged on ahead. He was soon to finish his PhD, and he had offers lining up. But she was at an impasse, volunteering in a laboratory with no work visa, no PhD prospect, and no clear way forward.\r\n\r\n<strong>READ ALSO:<\/strong> <a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/new-country-new-identity-for-partners-of-academics\/\"><em>New country, new identity for partners of academics<\/em><\/a>\r\n\r\nIt was not always supposed to have been that way.\r\n\r\nJaviera Aravena-Calvo and Pablo met when they were both 20-year-old bachelor students of Bioengineering at the University of Concepci\u00f3n in Chile and got married after finishing their studies. They were both ambitious, wanted an academic career, and preferably somewhere abroad.\r\n<blockquote>It was our first year of marriage, my husband was just starting his PhD with a lot of stress, and I on the other hand, felt like I was wasting my time.\r\n<p class=\"quotee\">Javiera Aravena-Calvo<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\nIt was Javiera that pushed for Israel as a destination, as she was interested in the work of <a href=\"https:\/\/en.hafakulta.agri.huji.ac.il\/people\/alexander-vainstein\">Alexander Vainstein<\/a>, a professor working on plant genomics.\r\n\r\n\u00bbIt was my original suggestion to go to Israel, but he ended up getting the scholarship, and he actually started his PhD in the Faculty where I wanted to apply. I moved with him to Israel, and Pablo even contacted people to help me, but it was him that got the position.\u00ab\r\n\r\n<strong>READ ALSO<em>: <\/em><\/strong><em><a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/second-time-in-copenhagen-after-hardship-and-compromise\/\">Second time in Copenhagen after hardship and compromise<\/a><\/em>\r\n\r\nShe had hoped that her research-track bachelor\u2019s degree from Chile would qualify her to start a PhD, but Israeli rules stipulated that she needed a master\u2019s.\r\n\r\n\u00bbI was very frustrated, we went all the way to Israel, and for me it was to no avail. And my only option was to study, as my visa was not for work,\u00ab\u00a0 Javiera Aravena-Calvo recounted. She realized that she, if she wanted to stay with her husband in Israel, would have to take her master\u2019s there. A six month wait before the master\u2019s programme started didn\u2019t help things.\r\n\r\n\u00bbI was used to always reaching my goals, and suddenly I had no choice. It was our first year of marriage, my husband was just starting his PhD with a lot of stress, and I on the other hand, felt like I was wasting my time. There was a lot of conflict between us,\u00ab she remembers.\r\n<h3>Not a safe place to be<\/h3>\r\nJaviera Aravena-Calvo felt like she had to do something, so she asked if she could volunteer at the plant genomics lab until she could start her master\u2019s. As it happens, this turned out later to help them both.\r\n<blockquote>I have this mentality from my own country that somehow pregnancy is a threat to your professional life, and I couldn\u2019t help feeling that I was delaying things again.\r\n<p class=\"quotee\">Javiera Aravena-Calvo<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\nShe started her master\u2019s degree, and afterwards she returned to the lab, volunteering there as she waited for her husband to finish his PhD degree.\r\n\r\n\u00bbI started to learn Hebrew there. I enjoyed being involved and it was motivating. I found out that it was a big help if you are starting in a new country to do something where you are interacting socially with people that are related to your career goals,\u00ab she says.\r\n\r\nIt was at this point, studying for her master\u2019s and then volunteering while waiting for her husband to finish her PhD, that the Israeli-Palestinian conflict flared up again. Suddenly Israel didn\u2019t seem like a safe place to be.\r\n\r\n<strong>READ ALSO:<\/strong> <a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/career-abroad-or-family-that-was-the-question\/\">Career abroad, or family: That was the question<\/a>\r\n\r\n\u00bbWe were both looking into our options: Germany, Switzerland, and other countries too. We didn\u2019t feel ready to return to Chile, as there were not that many opportunities there. But somehow we maintained our trust that we would manage in the end.\u00ab\r\n\r\nIt was a Danish student visiting the lab that mentioned a postdoc opportunity in Copenhagen for her husband.\r\n<h3>Now it is 'your turn'<\/h3>\r\nJaviera Aravena-Calvo and Pablo arrived in Copenhagen in 2017.\r\n\r\nIn Denmark, as Pablo continued his research, Javiera Aravena-Calvo finally got a work visa as a spouse to a visiting researcher, so she could also look for employment.\r\n\r\n\u00bbI felt a lot of opportunities opening for me, and my experience in Israel had primed me for applied work in industry,\u00ab she says.\r\n\r\nAs it happens, when Javiera Aravena-Calvo finally did get offered a job in Denmark, fate would have it that she learned that she was pregnant. It was unplanned.\r\n\r\nShe decided not to pursue the job that she had just been offered.\r\n\r\n\u00bbNow I felt that I was delaying my career again. I was doing Danish lessons, so I was not doing nothing, but I have this mentality from my own country that somehow pregnancy is a threat to your professional life, and I couldn\u2019t help feeling that I was delaying things again.\u00ab\r\n<blockquote>Career was important to both me and my husband, but until now, it was Pablo\u2019s career path that we had followed. Now, just as it was \u2018my turn\u2019, we both got lucky.\r\n<p class=\"quotee\">Javiera Aravena-Calvo<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\nAfter the birth of their child, it was finally time for Javiera Aravena-Calvo to get going with her career. Pablo was nearing the end of his contract in Copenhagen.\r\n\r\nHe said to her: \u00bbIt is where you get your PhD that decides where we go\u00ab.\r\n\r\nAfter years of struggling to align their careers, good fortune finally came to the couple: Javiera Aravena-Calvo was offered a PhD in Copenhagen, and Pablo got a new contract here.\r\n\r\n\u00bbCareer was important to both me and my husband, but until now, it was Pablo\u2019s career path that we had followed. Now, just as it was \u2018my turn\u2019, we both got lucky.\u00ab\r\n\r\nJaviera Aravena-Calvo has taken a life lesson out of the twists and turns of her career path:\r\n\r\n\u00bbWhen you are a couple, you need to be more flexible, to open up and share your goals with one another, and to broaden these goals. In other words: to compromise. It is not just my life anymore. Yet both of us are in science, so this has helped us understand and support each other.\u00ab\n<!-- end of module 1 -->\n","post_title":"Careers split apart, but marriage held","post_excerpt":"Now Javiera Aravena-Calvo is, like her husband, a scientist in Copenhagen. This is after career twists that included volunteering in a lab in Israel.","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","post_password":"","post_name":"careers-split-apart-but-marriage-held","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2020-05-19 14:54:40","post_modified_gmt":"2020-05-19 12:54:40","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"http:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/?p=100114","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}},{"reference":{"ID":101286,"post_author":"9","post_date":"2020-05-12 09:12:47","post_date_gmt":"2020-05-12 07:12:47","post_content":"Moving to another country may be the only option for PhDs and postdocs who want to advance in their own scientific field.\r\n\r\nBut this can lead to tough decisions and difficult conversations with partners and loved ones. Should we break up? Go for a long-distance relationship? Or should we both move?\r\n\r\nThe question, and the issue, is also starting to creep up more often in the two years since Duncan Ng, a 27-year-old Malaysian microbiologist, met his partner Pete while they were both at university in Scotland.\r\n<div class=\"factbox\">\r\n<p class=\"factbox-header feature-color\">Partner to an academic<\/p>\r\n<img class=\"alignnone size-narrow wp-image-103994\" src=\"http:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/vignet_web-700x445.jpg\" alt=\"\" \/>\r\n\r\nWhat is it like being a partner to an international academic that moves to Copenhagen? In a series of articles, the University Post looks at how spouses and couples manage a career with, or without, their global scientist partners\r\n\r\nOther articles in this series include:\r\n\r\n<a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/new-country-new-identity-for-partners-of-academics\/\">New country, new identity for partners of academics<\/a>\r\n<a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/second-time-in-copenhagen-after-hardship-and-compromise\/\">'Second time in Copenhagen after hardship and compromise'<\/a>\r\n<a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/of-26-spouses-only-two-were-men-he-was-one-of-them\/\">'Of 26 spouses, only two were men. He was one of them'<\/a>\r\n<a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/career-abroad-or-family-that-was-the-question\/\">Career abroad or family, that was the question<\/a>\r\n<a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/careers-split-apart-but-marriage-held\/\">Careers split apart, but marriage held<\/a>\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\n<blockquote>I had a Skype interview for a PhD position in New Zealand, and Pete and I discussed the fact that if I took this job this would realistically mean we would have to break up.\r\n<p class=\"quotee\">Duncan Ng<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\nDuncan Ng moved to Copenhagen to do a PhD at the University of Copenhagen (UCPH) and Statens Serum Institut (SSI), while Pete stayed on in Edinburgh. But the question has arisen, just like for so many academic couples before them: What happens now? And what happens when they both finish their degrees? Who should move, and who should stay?\r\n\r\n<strong>READ ALSO:<\/strong> <em><a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/new-country-new-identity-for-partners-of-academics\/\">New country, new identity for partners of academics<\/a><\/em>\r\n\r\n\u00bbNot long after we met, I finished my master\u2019s and started to look for a PhD,\u00ab Duncan Ng recounts. \u00bbI always knew that this was the way the academic job market was, and I had reconciled myself with moving far away if necessary. I had a Skype interview for a PhD position in New Zealand, and Pete and I discussed the fact that if I took this job this would realistically mean we would have to break up. But then I was offered a PhD in Copenhagen. I applied, and I got it. The fact that it would be closer to Pete, certainly steered me towards this decision,\u00ab he says.\r\n<h3>Partner reluctant to take his chances outside UK<\/h3>\r\nHe urged Pete, who was doing his postdoctoral work in inorganic chemistry at the University of Edinburgh, to look for something within his field in Copenhagen. But Copenhagen is not a scientific hub within his specialty, and Pete has been reluctant to move.\r\n<blockquote>Of course it made me question how much he was committed to the relationship, and it annoyed me that he would not even entertain the idea of moving, but dismissed it entirely.\r\n<p class=\"quotee\">Duncan Ng<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n\u00bbAnd he is right. My skills are probably more transferable at this point,\u00ab admits Duncan Ng.\r\n\r\n<strong>READ ALSO:<\/strong> <em><a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/second-time-in-copenhagen-after-hardship-and-compromise\/\">Second time in Copenhagen after hardship and compromise<\/a><\/em>\r\n\r\nThings came to a head recently when Duncan Ng was in the Netherlands for a month-long research stay.\r\n\r\n\u00bbI suggested to him that this is a good place for both me and him to do research. I am willing to move, I said. But Pete is British and was reluctant to move outside the UK. Of course it made me question how much he was committed to the relationship, and it annoyed me that he would not even entertain the idea of moving, but dismissed it entirely,\u00ab says Duncan Ng.\r\n\r\nThe conversation made Duncan Ng also realize, however, that academics can have vastly different incentives to make the first relocation to another country.\r\n\r\n<strong>READ ALSO:<\/strong> <em><a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/of-26-spouses-only-two-were-men-he-was-one-of-them\/\">Of 26 spouses, only two were men. He was one of them<\/a><\/em>\r\n\r\n\u00bbHe has many friends, academics and non-academics, who are still dating the girl who used to live down the street,\u00ab Duncan Ng says. But for Duncan Ng, having already once moved to the UK and then Denmark, a new move would be not such a big thing.\r\n<h3>Stresses, dilemmas the same for gay couples<\/h3>\r\nAnd then there is the factor of him coming from Malaysia, where gay people face legal challenges and discrimination. Duncan Ng will therefore not consider returning to his home country for a career, even though he has returned to visit family, and has even brought Pete back with him to visit.\r\n\r\nIn most western countries, internationally mobile gay couples face the same challenges that face heterosexual couples with two careers.\r\n\r\n\u00bbAt least there is no pressure to have children,\u00ab says Duncan Ng<strong>,<\/strong> before adding that apart from that, the stresses, and the dilemmas are the same.\r\n\r\nAs for now, the two of them have a bit of breathing space before the next decision time.\r\n\r\n<strong>READ ALSO:<\/strong> <em><a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/career-abroad-or-family-that-was-the-question\/\">Career abroad, or family: That was the question<\/a><\/em>\r\n\r\nDuncan Ng has about a year left of his sojourn in Copenhagen, while Pete has a year and a half left in Edinburgh.\r\n\r\n\u00bbHopefully we can end up in the same place. He is one step ahead of me, finishing his postdoc, and is unsure whether he wants to stay in academia. As for me, finishing my PhD, the most important thing is that I get to do what I enjoy, and right now it is what I am doing now, research.\u00ab\n<!-- end of module 1 -->\n","post_title":"Difficult conversation coming up for long distance couple","post_excerpt":"While Duncan, in Copenhagen, is willing to go anywhere to pursue a career and a life, his partner Pete in Edinburgh has, so far, preferred to stay put\r\n","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","post_password":"","post_name":"difficult-conversation-coming-up-for-long-distance-couple","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2020-05-12 09:12:47","post_modified_gmt":"2020-05-12 07:12:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"http:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/?p=101286","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}}],"category":false,"theme":false,"number_of_posts":"4","style":"default"}]},"taxonomyData":{"category":[{"term_id":45,"name":"International","slug":"international","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":45,"taxonomy":"category","description":"","parent":0,"count":315,"filter":"raw"},{"term_id":46,"name":"Science","slug":"science","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":46,"taxonomy":"category","description":"","parent":0,"count":831,"filter":"raw"}],"post_tag":[],"post_format":[],"expression":[{"term_id":18,"name":"Feature Article","slug":"feature_article","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":18,"taxonomy":"expression","description":"","parent":0,"count":1200,"filter":"raw"}],"translation_priority":[]},"featured_media_url":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/udspring_web-1280x720.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/101341","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/9"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=101341"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/101341\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":104830,"href":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/101341\/revisions\/104830"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/103990"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=101341"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=101341"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=101341"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}