{"id":17434,"date":"2012-05-10T04:36:01","date_gmt":"2012-05-10T02:36:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/?p=17434\/"},"modified":"2017-01-21T01:40:55","modified_gmt":"2017-01-21T01:40:55","slug":"students-are-the-experts-at-finding-privacy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/students-are-the-experts-at-finding-privacy\/","title":{"rendered":"Students are the experts at finding privacy"},"content":{"rendered":"

Upholding a social life \u2013 certainly the fun part that involves loud discussions, sex, quarrelling and loud music \u2013 is hard to do in the close proximity of your parents.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s face it: Knowing your mother is in the next room is not good for romance. And it is hard to hold a good party for your friends if the guests have to be out before your parents\u2019 curfew.<\/p>\n

But for many students, harsh economic realities postpone the time when they can move out and make a home of their own. Southern and Eastern Europeans traditionally stay at home longer than Northern and Western Europeans and some sources say that the present crisis which has hit Southern Europeans the hardest, is keeping students living with their parents.<\/p>\n

Coming home was a shock<\/h2>\n

Take Eleftheria Gritsi from Athens, Greece for example: She is 27. She graduated two years ago from Copenhagen\u2019s Swedish neighbour, Lund University. She got a job \u2013 \u00bbmiraculously,\u00ab she says \u2013 in a publishing house in Athens. She has a German boyfriend. And she lives at home with her mum.<\/p>\n

\u00bbI would prefer to live alone,\u00ab admits Eleftheria under her breath over the phone with the University Post. She then laughs. Her mother, not quite fluent in English, is sitting right next to her.<\/p>\n

\u00bbIt was a huge shock living two years independently in Sweden to do my Master\u2019s, and then having to move back to my parents\u2019 house. But I just couldn\u2019t plan ahead, and ended up here. You know: It is even common here for people to return to their parents\u2019 houses if they are married,\u00ab she says. <\/p>\n

The first period after moving back was the worst.<\/p>\n

\u00bbIt was a disaster! It was not the space that I didn\u2019t have, as I almost have more room here. It was the lack of time. I no longer had control over my own time.\u00ab <\/p>\n

Eleftheria has two older siblings, and they have both moved out.<\/p>\n

\u00bbAnd then there is the authority thing,\u00ab she says. \u00bbIf you move in with a boyfriend or girlfriend you can re-arrange things, adapt to each other. With parents, they still have the authority to set the rules.\u00ab<\/p>\n

Her German boyfriend, though living abroad, is a frequent visitor, and this makes for some awkwardness.<\/p>\n

\u00bbWe try to keep it discreet,\u00ab says Eleftheria. \u00bbWe try to spend weekends away from the house, or in the house when my parents are out. Luckily I do have a room of my own and I close the door sometimes. I know my mother is next door, and it is not comfortable for my boyfriend either, but we have to live with it,\u00ab she says. She adds that to move in with him, living in a different country, would be a big step.<\/p>\n

Embarrassing<\/h2>\n

Leire Oyanguren, a University of Copenhagen student from the Basque town of Irun in Spain, is sharing an apartment in Copenhagen with two friends. This summer, for the first time in several years, she faces the uneasy prospect of moving in with her parents again, even though it is only temporarily.<\/p>\n

Her elder sister and many of her former classmates at the University of Bilbao live with their parents. Not having the freedom to do what you want, and when you want, is a constant topic among family and friends.<\/p>\n

\u00bbBringing your boyfriend home will always bring on tension with your parents,\u00ab she says
\n.
\nUpholding a love life in close proximity to your parents involves compromise.<\/p>\n

\u00bbParents coming in on an embarrassing situation, might be a funny anecdote for the rest of your life, but it is not much fun when it happens,\u00ab muses Leire. The weirdness multiplies when you have lived away from your parents, and then move back. <\/p>\n

As it happens, Leire\u2019s living-at-home sister has found a way to make things work. \u00bbHer boyfriend always visits when our parents are not at home,\u00ab she says.<\/p>\n

Car is the new bedroom<\/h2>\n

Juan Mompean, a 22-year old computer science exchange student from Murcia, Spain, is taking a year off from living with his parents to study in Copenhagen. He now has his own room and his own kitchen in a private house.<\/p>\n

Talking to him, you get the feeling that Spain is a special case when it comes to the \u2018living at home with your parents\u2019 complex.<\/p>\n

Police are having a hard time preventing massive parties in public parks, the so-called botellons, or \u2018big bottles\u2019, he recounts. \u00bbEvery weekend in Murcia, if you go to some parks there are literally thousands of people. If police catch you, it is a EUR 100 fine\u00ab he says. <\/p>\n

And it turns out the nightly park visitors are not there to enjoy the birds and flowers. It is about cheap alcohol, and a way to get away from expensive bars and the stifling social mores of their parents. <\/p>\n

If young people need to find an even more private place to have sex, then cars are the thing in Spain, according to Juan. A website, mispicaderos.net<\/a>, allows users to plot good places to park your car outside the gaze of unwelcome intruders. Juan, entering the website as he talks to the University Post notes that it has \u00bb7,000 places: Wow, that is a lot I did not realise there were that many!\u00ab<\/p>\n

And why? It is all about living with your parents, and maintaining a sex life at the same time, explains Juan with a disarming frankness.<\/p>\n

\u00bbIt is difficult, and it is something that I talk to my friends about back at home. It depends on the family. In some families, you can \u2018take your girlfriend home\u2019, sometimes you have to wait until your family is out of the house. Sometimes you have to use a car,\u00ab he says.<\/p>\n

Home does have some perks<\/h2>\n

Juan\u2019s sister is 26, has graduated from university, and has been lucky to find a job in marketing. Juan freely speculates on her situation. <\/p>\n

\u00bbShe has had a boyfriend for the last six years. I don\u2019t honestly know how they do it, and it must be difficult for them\u00ab he says, \u00bbbut I guess they must find their moments, maybe the car is in use,\u00ab he laughs.<\/p>\n

Living with parents is not all bad, according to surveys. According to a recent study in 18 European countries more than three out of four students who lived with their parents were satisfied with the arrangement. The specific reasons for this satisfaction were not specified.<\/p>\n

Juan himself presently has no girlfriend.<\/p>\n

Here in Copenhagen, without mum, he now has to do the cooking, he says, adding that this often involves \u00bbthe use of the microwave oven\u00ab.<\/p>\n

miy@adm.ku.dk<\/p>\n

Stay in the know about news and events happening in Copenhagen by signing up for the University Post\u2019s weekly newsletter here<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Forced to stay with their parents, students need creativity to act on their romantic impulses. In southern Europe, this means parties in parks, sex in cars, and an instinct for when mum and dad are out<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":17438,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[45],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17434","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-international","expression-news_article"],"acf":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"yoast_head":"\nStudents are the experts at finding privacy<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/students-are-the-experts-at-finding-privacy\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Students are the experts at finding privacy\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Forced to stay with their parents, students need creativity to act on their romantic impulses. 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to stay with their parents, students need creativity to act on their romantic impulses. In southern Europe, this means parties in parks, sex in cars, and an instinct for when mum and dad are out","use_post_excerpt":false},{"acf_fc_layout":"Byline","is_author":false,"contributors":[{"use_registered_user":false,"user":false,"contributor_name":"Mike Young","contributor_title":" ","contributor_image":false}]},{"acf_fc_layout":"Content","content":"<p>Upholding a social life \u2013 certainly the fun part that involves loud discussions, sex, quarrelling and loud music \u2013 is hard to do in the close proximity of your parents.<\/p>\n<p>Let\u2019s face it: Knowing your mother is in the next room is not good for romance. And it is hard to hold a good party for your friends if the guests have to be out before your parents\u2019 curfew.<\/p>\n<p>But for many students, harsh economic realities postpone the time when they can move out and make a home of their own. Southern and Eastern Europeans traditionally stay at home longer than Northern and Western Europeans and some sources say that the present crisis which has hit Southern Europeans the hardest, is keeping students living with their parents.<\/p>\n<h2>Coming home was a shock<\/h2>\n<p>Take Eleftheria Gritsi from Athens, Greece for example: She is 27. She graduated two years ago from Copenhagen\u2019s Swedish neighbour, Lund University. She got a job \u2013 \u00bbmiraculously,\u00ab she says \u2013 in a publishing house in Athens. She has a German boyfriend. And she lives at home with her mum.<\/p>\n<p>\u00bbI would prefer to live alone,\u00ab admits Eleftheria under her breath over the phone with the University Post. She then laughs. Her mother, not quite fluent in English, is sitting right next to her.<\/p>\n<p>\u00bbIt was a huge shock living two years independently in Sweden to do my Master\u2019s, and then having to move back to my parents\u2019 house. But I just couldn\u2019t plan ahead, and ended up here. You know: It is even common here for people to return to their parents\u2019 houses if they are married,\u00ab she says. <\/p>\n<p>The first period after moving back was the worst.<\/p>\n<p>\u00bbIt was a disaster! It was not the space that I didn\u2019t have, as I almost have more room here. It was the lack of time. I no longer had control over my own time.\u00ab <\/p>\n<p>Eleftheria has two older siblings, and they have both moved out.<\/p>\n<p>\u00bbAnd then there is the authority thing,\u00ab she says. \u00bbIf you move in with a boyfriend or girlfriend you can re-arrange things, adapt to each other. With parents, they still have the authority to set the rules.\u00ab<\/p>\n<p>Her German boyfriend, though living abroad, is a frequent visitor, and this makes for some awkwardness.<\/p>\n<p>\u00bbWe try to keep it discreet,\u00ab says Eleftheria. \u00bbWe try to spend weekends away from the house, or in the house when my parents are out. Luckily I do have a room of my own and I close the door sometimes. I know my mother is next door, and it is not comfortable for my boyfriend either, but we have to live with it,\u00ab she says. She adds that to move in with him, living in a different country, would be a big step.<\/p>\n<h2>Embarrassing<\/h2>\n<p>Leire Oyanguren, a University of Copenhagen student from the Basque town of Irun in Spain, is sharing an apartment in Copenhagen with two friends. This summer, for the first time in several years, she faces the uneasy prospect of moving in with her parents again, even though it is only temporarily.<\/p>\n<p>Her elder sister and many of her former classmates at the University of Bilbao live with their parents. Not having the freedom to do what you want, and when you want, is a constant topic among family and friends.<\/p>\n<p>\u00bbBringing your boyfriend home will always bring on tension with your parents,\u00ab she says<br \/>\n.<br \/>\nUpholding a love life in close proximity to your parents involves compromise.<\/p>\n<p>\u00bbParents coming in on an embarrassing situation, might be a funny anecdote for the rest of your life, but it is not much fun when it happens,\u00ab muses Leire. The weirdness multiplies when you have lived away from your parents, and then move back. <\/p>\n<p>As it happens, Leire\u2019s living-at-home sister has found a way to make things work. \u00bbHer boyfriend always visits when our parents are not at home,\u00ab she says.<\/p>\n<h2>Car is the new bedroom<\/h2>\n<p>Juan Mompean, a 22-year old computer science exchange student from Murcia, Spain, is taking a year off from living with his parents to study in Copenhagen. He now has his own room and his own kitchen in a private house.<\/p>\n<p>Talking to him, you get the feeling that Spain is a special case when it comes to the \u2018living at home with your parents\u2019 complex.<\/p>\n<p>Police are having a hard time preventing massive parties in public parks, the so-called botellons, or \u2018big bottles\u2019, he recounts. \u00bbEvery weekend in Murcia, if you go to some parks there are literally thousands of people. If police catch you, it is a EUR 100 fine\u00ab he says. <\/p>\n<p>And it turns out the nightly park visitors are not there to enjoy the birds and flowers. It is about cheap alcohol, and a way to get away from expensive bars and the stifling social mores of their parents. <\/p>\n<p>If young people need to find an even more private place to have sex, then cars are the thing in Spain, according to Juan. A website, <a href=\"http:\/\/mispicaderos.net\/\" target=\"_blank\">mispicaderos.net<\/a>, allows users to plot good places to park your car outside the gaze of unwelcome intruders. Juan, entering the website as he talks to the University Post notes that it has \u00bb7,000 places: Wow, that is a lot I did not realise there were that many!\u00ab<\/p>\n<p>And why? It is all about living with your parents, and maintaining a sex life at the same time, explains Juan with a disarming frankness.<\/p>\n<p>\u00bbIt is difficult, and it is something that I talk to my friends about back at home. It depends on the family. In some families, you can \u2018take your girlfriend home\u2019, sometimes you have to wait until your family is out of the house. Sometimes you have to use a car,\u00ab he says.<\/p>\n<h2>Home does have some perks<\/h2>\n<p>Juan\u2019s sister is 26, has graduated from university, and has been lucky to find a job in marketing. Juan freely speculates on her situation. <\/p>\n<p>\u00bbShe has had a boyfriend for the last six years. I don\u2019t honestly know how they do it, and it must be difficult for them\u00ab he says, \u00bbbut I guess they must find their moments, maybe the car is in use,\u00ab he laughs.<\/p>\n<p>Living with parents is not all bad, according to surveys. According to a recent study in 18 European countries more than three out of four students who lived with their parents were satisfied with the arrangement. The specific reasons for this satisfaction were not specified.<\/p>\n<p>Juan himself presently has no girlfriend.<\/p>\n<p>Here in Copenhagen, without mum, he now has to do the cooking, he says, adding that this often involves \u00bbthe use of the microwave oven\u00ab.<\/p>\n<p>miy@adm.ku.dk<\/p>\n<p><em>Stay in the know about news and events happening in Copenhagen by <a href=\"http:\/\/universitypost.dk\/newsletter\" target=\"_blank\">signing up for the University Post\u2019s weekly newsletter here<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n"},{"acf_fc_layout":"ArticleEnd"},{"acf_fc_layout":"OtherStories","headline":"","hand_picked_posts":false,"references":false,"category":false,"theme":false,"number_of_posts":"4","style":"default"}]},"taxonomyData":{"category":[{"term_id":45,"name":"International","slug":"international","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":45,"taxonomy":"category","description":"","parent":0,"count":315,"filter":"raw"}],"post_tag":[],"post_format":[],"expression":[{"term_id":15,"name":"News Article","slug":"news_article","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":15,"taxonomy":"expression","description":"","parent":0,"count":11485,"filter":"raw"}],"translation_priority":[]},"featured_media_url":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/05\/love_in_a_car_photos.com_-1280x1920.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17434","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/12"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17434"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17434\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":35915,"href":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17434\/revisions\/35915"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/17438"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17434"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17434"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17434"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}