{"id":179526,"date":"2025-08-11T08:24:56","date_gmt":"2025-08-11T06:24:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/julie-og-erling-deler-fag-kontor-og-aegteseng\/"},"modified":"2025-08-11T09:16:28","modified_gmt":"2025-08-11T07:16:28","slug":"julie-and-erling-are-partners-in-life-lab-and-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/julie-and-erling-are-partners-in-life-lab-and-love\/","title":{"rendered":"Julie and Erling are partners in life, lab and love"},"content":{"rendered":"

One summer evening in late August 2024, Erling N\u00f8rk\u00e6r was running through the streets of Trondheim looking for a shop that was open.<\/p>\n

He had had to hastily leave a conference dinner with colleagues from all of the Nordic region.<\/p>\n

The conference, Nordic Meeting in Neuropsychology<\/em>, focused on brain health \u2014 and it was a relevant topic for both Erling N\u00f8rk\u00e6r and his wife and colleague Julie Ertman N\u00f8rk\u00e6r Lundsgaard. He was writing a PhD on what people who suffer from face blindness experience when they see and remember faces. Julie Ertman N\u00f8rk\u00e6r Lundsgaard, who is working on a PhD on children\u2019s ability to actively forget unwanted memories, had been invited as a speaker.<\/p>\n

And their barely four-month-old baby, who until then had babbled through most of the conference, suddenly was in urgent need of a new nappy during dinner. And the baby bag was back at the hotel room. \u00bbHe of course had to be changed and put into his pyjamas in the middle of the dinner,\u00ab says Julie Ertman N\u00f8rk\u00e6r Lundsgaard.<\/p>\n

She is sitting next to her husband, Erling N\u00f8rk\u00e6r, in her office at the Department of Psychology. Through the window, you can see the front garden of the old municipal hospital in full bloom. Two bike helmets hang on the coat rack by the door. Two photo frames with pictures of children are on the desk.<\/p>\n

When Erling N\u00f8rk\u00e6r returns from paternity leave in a month’s time \u2014 with the couple\u2019s second child, the little boy who joined them in Norway \u2014 he will take over the second desk in the office to finish writing his PhD. This will seal the merger of their two lives that all started when the couple met ten years ago.
\n
\nWork\u2013life balance and the relationship between career and family life are a frequent topic of debate \u2014 also in academia. But Julie Ertman N\u00f8rk\u00e6r Lundsgaard and Erling N\u00f8rk\u00e6r offer a different perspective. Their work spills over into their family life, their family life spills over into their work, and every now and then, someone has to work on a Sunday.<\/p>\n

And neither of them would want it any other way.<\/p>\n

Late-night philosophical debates<\/h3>\n

Julie Ertman N\u00f8rk\u00e6r Lundsgaard and Erling N\u00f8rk\u00e6r met at a party at the University of Copenhagen in 2015. They were both studying psychology \u2014 she was in her first year, and he was working on his bachelor project.<\/p>\n

She already knew who he was. Erling N\u00f8rk\u00e6r was a teaching assistant and wrote for the psychology students\u2019 magazine, Indput<\/em>. He had an advice column and wrote poetry \u2014 including one about Ikea.<\/p>\n

Was it a good poem about Ikea?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00bbIt was brilliant!\u00ab she says.<\/p>\n

At the party, she asked if he wanted to go outside, have a beer, and talk for a bit. And while they were caught up in conversation, the party and the rest of the city quietly shut down without them noticing.<\/p>\n

It was 15 February 2015, the day Copenhagen was shaken by a terrorist attack that claimed the lives of film director Finn N\u00f8rgaard and volunteer security guard Dan Uzan. Julie and Erling spent the next day side by side, watching the news unfold.<\/p>\n

Since then, they have made their way through the study programme together, exchanging ideas and discussing theories and academic topics. They spent long evenings having the kind of far-reaching red wine-fueled debates only possible when you have all the time in the world: Does the world exist independently of our perception of it? What is the relationship between language and things? What is consciousness?<\/p>\n

They debated the philosophy of science and the Marxist philosopher Louis Althusser\u2019s theories on real and perceived objects.<\/p>\n

They worked together at her parents\u2019 factory outside the city, making buckets and fishing floats, baskets and net rings to save up for a trip. To this day, she can still picture him at the bucket machine, fully focused in the heat, listening to Norwegian novelist Karl Ove Knausg\u00e5rd\u2019s My Struggle through his headphones.<\/p>\n

READ ALSO: <\/strong>Gender inequality starts with young researchers. And it is all about children<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

Ten years, a wedding and two children on, the talk has shifted from Knausg\u00e5rd and consciousness to wellies and runny noses, drop-offs and pick-ups.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s also why they appreciate sharing not just a workplace and academic field, but an office.<\/p>\n

\u00bbNow we actually have the time \u2014 we can take a coffee break together and actually talk about grown-up things,\u00ab says Julie Ertman N\u00f8rk\u00e6r Lundsgaard.<\/p>\n

In the middle of the endless logistics of life with small children, their days at the department are a rare chance to see each other as they once were \u2014 before everything revolved around schedules and chores.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a way of really seeing you,\u201d she says. \u201cHere, you\u2019re Erling \u2014 not just the flatmate I share a to-do list with. It\u2019s really you sitting here.\u201d<\/p>\n

Watching your partner shine<\/h3>\n

Others, however, have raised their eyebrows at the setup \u2014 at their wish to spend so much time together. Wouldn\u2019t they at least prefer to have separate office hours?<\/p>\n

But the answer is no:<\/p>\n

\u00bbI think we really do boost each other\u2019s commitment and motivation at work. We get to see so many sides of each other that I think many other couples don\u2019t. It\u2019s a real privilege,\u00ab she says.<\/p>\n

\u00bbYes,\u00ab he says from the chair beside her. \u00bbYou get to see each other in action here.\u00ab<\/p>\n

When Erling N\u00f8rk\u00e6r was halfway through his PhD, he held a midterm seminar. His wife sat in the audience and felt incredibly lucky to be there, sharing the moment with her husband. She was proud of him.
\n
\nAnd of course she would have been proud if it had been any other colleague, and of course she would have been proud even if his research had been in a completely different field, she says:<\/p>\n

\u00bbBut it was still something special to see you standing there. In those moments, I really feel like I see<\/em> you. I see how talented you are, and I see what you\u2019re capable of,\u00ab she says to him.<\/p>\n

And she continues: \u00bbYou get to watch your partner shine, and it reminds me of what\u2019s so great about being in this relationship.\u00ab<\/p>\n

Julie Ertman N\u00f8rk\u00e6r Lundsgaard and Erling N\u00f8rk\u00e6r are often asked whether they see each other as competitors. They are both doing PhDs in the same field, and both dream of a future at the university. At some point, they\u2019ll be applying for the same jobs and competing for the same research funding.<\/p>\n

\u00bbIf we both want to pursue an academic career here at the department, it will inevitably narrow down at some point. But right now, we\u2019re competing with everyone \u2014 also internationally,\u00ab says Erling N\u00f8rk\u00e6r.<\/p>\n

\u00bbIf, in the future, there\u2019s a position I apply for and don\u2019t get, I would hope that it is Julie who gets it. I only have an interest in you succeeding,\u00ab he says.<\/p>\n

Consideration for one another<\/h3>\n

When Erling N\u00f8rk\u00e6r returns from paternity leave in a month, he\u2019ll come in each day, switch on his computer, and settle into the office he shares with his wife \u2014 whether the morning with their two small children has gone smoothly or not.<\/p>\n

The question is whether you can really leave all the logistics and small conflicts outside the office door.<\/p>\n

Of course not, they say. But maybe that\u2019s not even the goal.<\/p>\n

\u00bbI think it just makes you more tuned in to how the other is doing that day,\u00ab says Erling. \u00bbI know, for example, that Julie didn\u2019t sleep well last night because she was up with our son \u2014 so I can take that into account. Sure, we have mornings when the kids are going wild, but that doesn\u2019t mean we take it out on each other.\u00ab<\/p>\n

Julie Ertman N\u00f8rk\u00e6r Lundsgaard nods:<\/p>\n

\u00bbIt\u2019s actually surprising how little time and space you need before you can say, okay, that was just the situation. That happened, and now we\u2019re in a different place,\u00ab she says.<\/p>\n

Julie Ertman N\u00f8rk\u00e6r Lundsgaard knew early on that she wanted to be a researcher. She got a student job at the Department of Psychology, did a research internship at the University of Cambridge, and laid the foundations for her PhD project already during her master\u2019s degree.<\/p>\n

Erling N\u00f8rk\u00e6r was less determined. After his bachelor\u2019s degree, he took a break from university, wrote and published a novel, and pursued another dream for a while before returning to his studies two years later.<\/p>\n

\u00bbWe\u2019ve walked this path together and, to a large extent, shaped each other\u2019s academic interests,\u00ab he says.<\/p>\n

Julie Ertman N\u00f8rk\u00e6r Lundsgaard nods:<\/p>\n

\u00bbWe probably would have been interested in the same things independently of each other, but we\u2019ve really had the chance to nurture those interests because we understand each other\u2019s curiosity,\u00ab she says.<\/p>\n

The university\u2019s leaky pipeline<\/h3>\n

That universities struggle to retain female researchers is hardly news \u2014 but it\u2019s drawing growing attention. Every time a woman leaves academia, the university loses talent.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s not because women are absent from classrooms. In 2024, 63 per cent of students at UCPH were women. Yet in the same year, only 29 per cent of professors were.<\/p>\n

The phenomenon is known as the \u201cleaky pipeline\u201d \u2014 the further up the career ladder you go, the more women opt out of the university as a career path.
\n
\nLast year, our Danish-language site reported<\/a> that three out of four female researchers were considering leaving the university \u2014 with competition for research funding cited as the main reason.<\/p>\n

A university career is, by definition, marked by many temporary contracts and a degree of uncertainty. But a study by the think tank DEA showed that female researchers experience greater uncertainty than their male colleagues.<\/p>\n

These insecure employment conditions and high performance demands can be difficult to combine with family life, especially for women. They typically take longer parental leave and shoulder more of the caregiving responsibilities at home.<\/p>\n

An analysis from the Danish Council for Research and Innovation Policy from 2024 showed that if progress continues at the current pace, we will reach gender equality in academia in Denmark in 2055.<\/p>\n

Always behind<\/h3>\n

The issue of gender equality is not new to the researcher couple. Julie Ertman N\u00f8rk\u00e6r Lundsgaard began her PhD one year after her husband, but will end up finishing it two years later. Having two children in the space of three years has meant delays for both of them \u2014 but more for her.<\/p>\n

\u00bbYou\u2019re away from your project for a longer time because you\u2019ve taken the longest parental leave, and there are some career disadvantages to that. A lot happens in the meantime,\u00ab says Erling N\u00f8rk\u00e6r.<\/p>\n

Julie Ertman N\u00f8rk\u00e6r Lundsgaard nods. The feeling of being behind is constantly there, she says \u2014 lingering at the back of her mind, pushing her to work efficiently so she doesn\u2019t slip even further behind.<\/p>\n

\u00bbI don\u2019t necessarily have time for a long chat with a colleague in the kitchen, because I need to get these things done before I leave.\u00ab<\/p>\n

But, she says, having children also makes you better at your job.<\/p>\n

\u00bbI really have to work efficiently in the time I\u2019m here. I no longer have the luxury of dwelling on the small stuff.\u00ab<\/p>\n

She will always recommend having children, even though it turns your career plans upside down.<\/p>\n

\u00bbIt\u2019s damned hard \u2014 but it\u2019s also amazing.\u00ab
\n
\nJulie Ertman N\u00f8rk\u00e6r Lundsgaard recently decided to go from a 37-hour to a 30-hour workweek to make family life more manageable. It\u2019s a decision that will, of course, delay her progress even further. So why isn\u2019t it him who cuts back on hours for the sake of the family?<\/p>\n

\u00bbYes, that\u2019s actually a good question,\u00ab Erling N\u00f8rk\u00e6r admits.<\/p>\n

Part of the reason, he says, is that he\u2019s close to completing his PhD. He\u2019ll start a postdoc at the department after the summer break, and if he hadn\u2019t taken paternity leave, he would have finished six months ago.<\/p>\n

\u00bbThat\u2019s probably what kids do. They derail your career path,\u00ab he says with a grin.<\/p>\n

The couple reckons that they\u2019re good at talking about any gender imbalances that arise. They try to organise their lives in a way that household chores don\u2019t automatically fall on one person.<\/p>\n

\u00bbDo you feel worse off than me because you\u2019re a woman and a mother?\u00ab Erling N\u00f8rk\u00e6r asks his wife.<\/p>\n

She pauses. It\u2019s a hard question. Inequality in the labour market certainly exists \u2014 there\u2019s no doubt about that \u2014 but she feels they\u2019re both conscious of it.<\/p>\n

And that brings us back to the conference in Trondheim last summer. Julie Ertman N\u00f8rk\u00e6r Lundsgaard was invited to present her PhD project at the conference when she wasn\u2019t yet pregnant, and as the conference approached, it became clear she was likely to be cradling a tiny baby.<\/p>\n

\u00bbI thought, well, since Erling was also going, it would be fine. Then we\u2019d be two people to care for the little one.\u00ab<\/p>\n

An immature sector?<\/h3>\n

With its many insecure and short-term employment conditions, academia has been criticised for being a tough environment for parents of young children.<\/p>\n

In an interview with the University Post, Rector David Dreyer Lassen previously referred to the university as an \u00bbimmature sector\u00ab.<\/p>\n

\u00bbThe university has to be an attractive place to work,\u00ab he said. \u00bbAlso for the new generations, who prioritise different things. It shouldn\u2019t just be hard and exhausting, but also a nice place to be. That\u2019s a competitive factor the university needs to tap into. And that\u2019s where we\u2019re a bit immature as a sector.\u00ab<\/p>\n

The young couple agree with this.<\/p>\n

\u00bbThe flip side is that there\u2019s enormous flexibility in your working life as a researcher. And that\u2019s a huge advantage when you have small children. I know a lot of people with regular 9-to-5 jobs who are more stressed because they have to be out the door at a specific time,\u00ab says Erling N\u00f8rk\u00e6r.
\n
\nAt the university, you can take a short day if a child suddenly needs to be picked up from daycare. The trade-off is that you have to make up the hours another time. And when one of them suddenly has to go into the office, it helps that they know each other\u2019s work so well.<\/p>\n

\u00bbWe understand that the other person\u2019s work is important,\u00ab says Erling N\u00f8rk\u00e6r.<\/p>\n

But can\u2019t you relate at all to the idea that an academic career easily seeps into your private life?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00bbI think there has to be a limit to how much the university should adapt to people\u2019s private lives. It also has to be a demanding job at a high academic level,\u00ab he says.<\/p>\n

The current trend is a bit different though. More like: ‘People should accommodate me.’ It doesn\u2019t sound like you\u2019re fully on board with that narrative?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00bbNo, I don\u2019t buy into that at all. At least not when you\u2019ve chosen a job where high expectations are part of the deal. Otherwise, you should find a job that\u2019s a bit less demanding,\u00ab he says.<\/p>\n

\u00bbYes \u2014 or one with different conditions, right?\u00ab says Julie Ertman N\u00f8rk\u00e6r Lundsgaard.<\/p>\n

Down to 50 hours<\/h3>\n

When Julie Ertman N\u00f8rk\u00e6r Lundsgaard had to do a research internship during her master\u2019s, she and Erling N\u00f8rk\u00e6r moved to the University of Cambridge. That was before they had kids. They worked with another academic couple who had a small child and who therefore had to each cut back their working hours \u2014 to 50 hours a week.<\/p>\n

\u00bbYou could definitely sense that the structures at Cambridge were quite old-fashioned. The requirements were just different. Compared to other international universities, UCPH offers good conditions for family life,\u00ab she says.<\/p>\n

Later, when the couple returned to the University of Cambridge, it was with a one-year-old daughter and a real childcare juggling act. Grandparents on both sides of the family flew to England to help out, and Julie Ertman N\u00f8rk\u00e6r Lundsgaard\u2019s sister also came to assist. During the periods when they didn\u2019t have help, they took turns working during the day and continued into the evening.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s not sustainable in the long term. And if Julie Ertman N\u00f8rk\u00e6r Lundsgaard and her husband decide to have more children, something in their circumstances will have to change, they say.<\/p>\n

They\u2019ve talked about moving abroad for a few years \u2014 perhaps when she becomes a postdoc. They don\u2019t imagine both of them being able to sustain academic careers at a foreign university with two small children, so they\u2019ll have to come up with another plan. Maybe Erling N\u00f8rk\u00e6r will stay home for a while and pursue his interest in literature and writing.<\/p>\n

So you\u2019ll be a diplomatic spouse?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00bbExactly,\u00ab laughs Erling N\u00f8rk\u00e6r.<\/p>\n

\u00bbI think,\u00ab says Julie Ertman N\u00f8rk\u00e6r Lundsgaard, \u00bbit\u2019s about understanding the conditions you have \u2014 and then trying to organise your life accordingly. And sometimes that takes a bit of creative organising.\u00ab<\/p>\n

This article was first written in Danish and published on 4 August 2025. It has been translated into English and post-edited by Mike Young.<\/em>
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Julie and Erling N\u00f8rk\u00e6r are both PhD students at the Department of Psychology. And they\u2019re married. And they have two children. 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og Erling N\u00f8rk\u00e6r er begge ph.d.-studerende p\u00e5 Institut for Psykologi. Og s\u00e5 er de gift. Og har to b\u00f8rn. Og deler kontor. Velkommen til to liv, der er flettet fuldst\u00e6ndig sammen. ","use_post_excerpt":true},{"acf_fc_layout":"Byline","is_author":true,"contributors":false},{"acf_fc_layout":"Content","content":"<p>One summer evening in late August 2024, Erling N\u00f8rk\u00e6r was running through the streets of Trondheim looking for a shop that was open.<\/p>\n<p>He had had to hastily leave a conference dinner with colleagues from all of the Nordic region.<\/p>\n<p>The conference, <em>Nordic Meeting in Neuropsychology<\/em>, focused on brain health \u2014 and it was a relevant topic for both Erling N\u00f8rk\u00e6r and his wife and colleague Julie Ertman N\u00f8rk\u00e6r Lundsgaard. He was writing a PhD on what people who suffer from face blindness experience when they see and remember faces. Julie Ertman N\u00f8rk\u00e6r Lundsgaard, who is working on a PhD on children\u2019s ability to actively forget unwanted memories, had been invited as a speaker.<\/p>\n<p>And their barely four-month-old baby, who until then had babbled through most of the conference, suddenly was in urgent need of a new nappy during dinner. And the baby bag was back at the hotel room. \u00bbHe of course had to be changed and put into his pyjamas in the middle of the dinner,\u00ab says Julie Ertman N\u00f8rk\u00e6r Lundsgaard.<\/p>\n<p>She is sitting next to her husband, Erling N\u00f8rk\u00e6r, in her office at the Department of Psychology. Through the window, you can see the front garden of the old municipal hospital in full bloom. Two bike helmets hang on the coat rack by the door. Two photo frames with pictures of children are on the desk.<\/p>\n<p>When Erling N\u00f8rk\u00e6r returns from paternity leave in a month’s time \u2014 with the couple\u2019s second child, the little boy who joined them in Norway \u2014 he will take over the second desk in the office to finish writing his PhD. This will seal the merger of their two lives that all started when the couple met ten years ago.<\/p>\n"},{"acf_fc_layout":"Quote","quote":"We boost each other\u2019s commitment and motivation at work","quotee":"Julie Ertman N\u00f8rk\u00e6r Lundsgaard","style":"extended"},{"acf_fc_layout":"Content","content":"<p>Work\u2013life balance and the relationship between career and family life are a frequent topic of debate \u2014 also in academia. But Julie Ertman N\u00f8rk\u00e6r Lundsgaard and Erling N\u00f8rk\u00e6r offer a different perspective. Their work spills over into their family life, their family life spills over into their work, and every now and then, someone has to work on a Sunday.<\/p>\n<p>And neither of them would want it any other way.<\/p>\n<h3>Late-night philosophical debates<\/h3>\n<p>Julie Ertman N\u00f8rk\u00e6r Lundsgaard and Erling N\u00f8rk\u00e6r met at a party at the University of Copenhagen in 2015. They were both studying psychology \u2014 she was in her first year, and he was working on his bachelor project.<\/p>\n<p>She already knew who he was. Erling N\u00f8rk\u00e6r was a teaching assistant and wrote for the psychology students\u2019 magazine, <em>Indput<\/em>. He had an advice column and wrote poetry \u2014 including one about Ikea.<\/p>\n<p><em>Was it a good poem about Ikea?<\/em><\/p>\n<p>\u00bbIt was brilliant!\u00ab she says.<\/p>\n<p>At the party, she asked if he wanted to go outside, have a beer, and talk for a bit. And while they were caught up in conversation, the party and the rest of the city quietly shut down without them noticing.<\/p>\n<p>It was 15 February 2015, the day Copenhagen was shaken by a terrorist attack that claimed the lives of film director Finn N\u00f8rgaard and volunteer security guard Dan Uzan. Julie and Erling spent the next day side by side, watching the news unfold.<\/p>\n<p>Since then, they have made their way through the study programme together, exchanging ideas and discussing theories and academic topics. They spent long evenings having the kind of far-reaching red wine-fueled debates only possible when you have all the time in the world: Does the world exist independently of our perception of it? What is the relationship between language and things? What is consciousness?<\/p>\n<p>They debated the philosophy of science and the Marxist philosopher Louis Althusser\u2019s theories on real and perceived objects.<\/p>\n<p>They worked together at her parents\u2019 factory outside the city, making buckets and fishing floats, baskets and net rings to save up for a trip. To this day, she can still picture him at the bucket machine, fully focused in the heat, listening to Norwegian novelist Karl Ove Knausg\u00e5rd\u2019s My Struggle through his headphones.<\/p>\n<p><strong>READ ALSO: <\/strong><em><a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/gender-inequality-starts-with-young-researchers-and-it-is-all-about-children\/\">Gender inequality starts with young researchers. And it is all about children<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n<p>Ten years, a wedding and two children on, the talk has shifted from Knausg\u00e5rd and consciousness to wellies and runny noses, drop-offs and pick-ups.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s also why they appreciate sharing not just a workplace and academic field, but an office.<\/p>\n<p>\u00bbNow we actually have the time \u2014 we can take a coffee break together and actually talk about grown-up things,\u00ab says Julie Ertman N\u00f8rk\u00e6r Lundsgaard.<\/p>\n<p>In the middle of the endless logistics of life with small children, their days at the department are a rare chance to see each other as they once were \u2014 before everything revolved around schedules and chores.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt\u2019s a way of really seeing you,\u201d she says. \u201cHere, you\u2019re Erling \u2014 not just the flatmate I share a to-do list with. It\u2019s really you sitting here.\u201d<\/p>\n<h3>Watching your partner shine<\/h3>\n<p>Others, however, have raised their eyebrows at the setup \u2014 at their wish to spend so much time together. Wouldn\u2019t they at least prefer to have separate office hours?<\/p>\n<p>But the answer is no:<\/p>\n<p>\u00bbI think we really do boost each other\u2019s commitment and motivation at work. We get to see so many sides of each other that I think many other couples don\u2019t. It\u2019s a real privilege,\u00ab she says.<\/p>\n<p>\u00bbYes,\u00ab he says from the chair beside her. \u00bbYou get to see each other in action here.\u00ab<\/p>\n<p>When Erling N\u00f8rk\u00e6r was halfway through his PhD, he held a midterm seminar. His wife sat in the audience and felt incredibly lucky to be there, sharing the moment with her husband. She was proud of him.<\/p>\n"},{"acf_fc_layout":"Quote","quote":"You get to watch your partner shine, and it reminds me of what\u2019s so great about being in this relationship.\r\n","quotee":"Julie Ertman Lundsgaard N\u00f8rk\u00e6r","style":"extended"},{"acf_fc_layout":"Content","content":"<p>And of course she would have been proud if it had been any other colleague, and of course she would have been proud even if his research had been in a completely different field, she says:<\/p>\n<p>\u00bbBut it was still something special to see you standing there. In those moments, I really feel like I <em>see<\/em> you. I see how talented you are, and I see what you\u2019re capable of,\u00ab she says to him.<\/p>\n<p>And she continues: \u00bbYou get to watch your partner shine, and it reminds me of what\u2019s so great about being in this relationship.\u00ab<\/p>\n<p>Julie Ertman N\u00f8rk\u00e6r Lundsgaard and Erling N\u00f8rk\u00e6r are often asked whether they see each other as competitors. They are both doing PhDs in the same field, and both dream of a future at the university. At some point, they\u2019ll be applying for the same jobs and competing for the same research funding.<\/p>\n<p>\u00bbIf we both want to pursue an academic career here at the department, it will inevitably narrow down at some point. But right now, we\u2019re competing with everyone \u2014 also internationally,\u00ab says Erling N\u00f8rk\u00e6r.<\/p>\n<p>\u00bbIf, in the future, there\u2019s a position I apply for and don\u2019t get, I would hope that it is Julie who gets it. I only have an interest in you succeeding,\u00ab he says.<\/p>\n<h3>Consideration for one another<\/h3>\n<p>When Erling N\u00f8rk\u00e6r returns from paternity leave in a month, he\u2019ll come in each day, switch on his computer, and settle into the office he shares with his wife \u2014 whether the morning with their two small children has gone smoothly or not.<\/p>\n<p>The question is whether you can really leave all the logistics and small conflicts outside the office door.<\/p>\n<p>Of course not, they say. But maybe that\u2019s not even the goal.<\/p>\n<p>\u00bbI think it just makes you more tuned in to how the other is doing that day,\u00ab says Erling. \u00bbI know, for example, that Julie didn\u2019t sleep well last night because she was up with our son \u2014 so I can take that into account. Sure, we have mornings when the kids are going wild, but that doesn\u2019t mean we take it out on each other.\u00ab<\/p>\n<p>Julie Ertman N\u00f8rk\u00e6r Lundsgaard nods:<\/p>\n<p>\u00bbIt\u2019s actually surprising how little time and space you need before you can say, okay, that was just the situation. That happened, and now we\u2019re in a different place,\u00ab she says.<\/p>\n<p>Julie Ertman N\u00f8rk\u00e6r Lundsgaard knew early on that she wanted to be a researcher. She got a student job at the Department of Psychology, did a research internship at the University of Cambridge, and laid the foundations for her PhD project already during her master\u2019s degree.<\/p>\n<p>Erling N\u00f8rk\u00e6r was less determined. After his bachelor\u2019s degree, he took a break from university, wrote and published a novel, and pursued another dream for a while before returning to his studies two years later.<\/p>\n<p>\u00bbWe\u2019ve walked this path together and, to a large extent, shaped each other\u2019s academic interests,\u00ab he says.<\/p>\n<p>Julie Ertman N\u00f8rk\u00e6r Lundsgaard nods:<\/p>\n<p>\u00bbWe probably would have been interested in the same things independently of each other, but we\u2019ve really had the chance to nurture those interests because we understand each other\u2019s curiosity,\u00ab she says.<\/p>\n<h3>The university\u2019s leaky pipeline<\/h3>\n<p>That universities struggle to retain female researchers is hardly news \u2014 but it\u2019s drawing growing attention. Every time a woman leaves academia, the university loses talent.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s not because women are absent from classrooms. In 2024, 63 per cent of students at UCPH were women. Yet in the same year, only 29 per cent of professors were.<\/p>\n<p>The phenomenon is known as the \u201cleaky pipeline\u201d \u2014 the further up the career ladder you go, the more women opt out of the university as a career path.<\/p>\n"},{"acf_fc_layout":"Image","image":{"ID":179200,"id":179200,"title":"DSC_0751_DxO1","filename":"dsc_0751_dxo1-scaled.jpg","filesize":1333252,"url":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/dsc_0751_dxo1-scaled.jpg","link":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/julie-og-erling-deler-fag-kontor-og-aegteseng\/dsc_0751_dxo1\/","alt":"","author":"109","description":"","caption":"","name":"dsc_0751_dxo1","status":"inherit","uploaded_to":179124,"date":"2025-07-02 12:11:03","modified":"2025-07-02 12:11:24","menu_order":0,"mime_type":"image\/jpeg","type":"image","subtype":"jpeg","icon":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/wp-includes\/images\/media\/default.png","width":2264,"height":2560,"sizes":{"thumbnail":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/dsc_0751_dxo1-150x150.jpg","thumbnail-width":150,"thumbnail-height":150,"medium":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/dsc_0751_dxo1-480x543.jpg","medium-width":480,"medium-height":543,"medium_large":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/dsc_0751_dxo1-768x868.jpg","medium_large-width":768,"medium_large-height":868,"large":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/dsc_0751_dxo1-1280x1447.jpg","large-width":1280,"large-height":1447,"1536x1536":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/dsc_0751_dxo1-1358x1536.jpg","1536x1536-width":1358,"1536x1536-height":1536,"2048x2048":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/dsc_0751_dxo1-1811x2048.jpg","2048x2048-width":1811,"2048x2048-height":2048,"featured-soft":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/dsc_0751_dxo1-290x328.jpg","featured-soft-width":290,"featured-soft-height":328,"featured-hard":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/dsc_0751_dxo1-290x180.jpg","featured-hard-width":290,"featured-hard-height":180,"narrow":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/dsc_0751_dxo1-700x792.jpg","narrow-width":700,"narrow-height":792,"extended":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/dsc_0751_dxo1-990x1120.jpg","extended-width":990,"extended-height":1120}},"style":"extended","text_placement":"metadata-below","image_link_url":"","image_link_title":"","caption_prefix":"","enable_alternative_caption":false,"alternative_caption":""},{"acf_fc_layout":"Content","content":"<p>Last year, <a href=\"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/mange-kvindelige-forskere-overvejer-at-forlade-koebenhavns-universitet\/\">our Danish-language site reported<\/a> that three out of four female researchers were considering leaving the university \u2014 with competition for research funding cited as the main reason.<\/p>\n<p>A university career is, by definition, marked by many temporary contracts and a degree of uncertainty. But a study by the think tank DEA showed that female researchers experience greater uncertainty than their male colleagues.<\/p>\n<p>These insecure employment conditions and high performance demands can be difficult to combine with family life, especially for women. They typically take longer parental leave and shoulder more of the caregiving responsibilities at home.<\/p>\n<p>An analysis from the Danish Council for Research and Innovation Policy from 2024 showed that if progress continues at the current pace, we will reach gender equality in academia in Denmark in 2055.<\/p>\n<h3>Always behind<\/h3>\n<p>The issue of gender equality is not new to the researcher couple. Julie Ertman N\u00f8rk\u00e6r Lundsgaard began her PhD one year after her husband, but will end up finishing it two years later. Having two children in the space of three years has meant delays for both of them \u2014 but more for her.<\/p>\n<p>\u00bbYou\u2019re away from your project for a longer time because you\u2019ve taken the longest parental leave, and there are some career disadvantages to that. A lot happens in the meantime,\u00ab says Erling N\u00f8rk\u00e6r.<\/p>\n<p>Julie Ertman N\u00f8rk\u00e6r Lundsgaard nods. The feeling of being behind is constantly there, she says \u2014 lingering at the back of her mind, pushing her to work efficiently so she doesn\u2019t slip even further behind.<\/p>\n<p>\u00bbI don\u2019t necessarily have time for a long chat with a colleague in the kitchen, because I need to get these things done before I leave.\u00ab<\/p>\n<p>But, she says, having children also makes you better at your job.<\/p>\n<p>\u00bbI really have to work efficiently in the time I\u2019m here. I no longer have the luxury of dwelling on the small stuff.\u00ab<\/p>\n<p>She will always recommend having children, even though it turns your career plans upside down.<\/p>\n<p>\u00bbIt\u2019s damned hard \u2014 but it\u2019s also amazing.\u00ab<\/p>\n"},{"acf_fc_layout":"Quote","quote":"Do you feel worse off than me because you\u2019re a woman and a mother?\r\n","quotee":"Erling N\u00f8rk\u00e6r","style":"extended"},{"acf_fc_layout":"Content","content":"<p>Julie Ertman N\u00f8rk\u00e6r Lundsgaard recently decided to go from a 37-hour to a 30-hour workweek to make family life more manageable. It\u2019s a decision that will, of course, delay her progress even further. So why isn\u2019t it him who cuts back on hours for the sake of the family?<\/p>\n<p>\u00bbYes, that\u2019s actually a good question,\u00ab Erling N\u00f8rk\u00e6r admits.<\/p>\n<p>Part of the reason, he says, is that he\u2019s close to completing his PhD. He\u2019ll start a postdoc at the department after the summer break, and if he hadn\u2019t taken paternity leave, he would have finished six months ago.<\/p>\n<p>\u00bbThat\u2019s probably what kids do. They derail your career path,\u00ab he says with a grin.<\/p>\n<p>The couple reckons that they\u2019re good at talking about any gender imbalances that arise. They try to organise their lives in a way that household chores don\u2019t automatically fall on one person.<\/p>\n<p>\u00bbDo you feel worse off than me because you\u2019re a woman and a mother?\u00ab Erling N\u00f8rk\u00e6r asks his wife.<\/p>\n<p>She pauses. It\u2019s a hard question. Inequality in the labour market certainly exists \u2014 there\u2019s no doubt about that \u2014 but she feels they\u2019re both conscious of it.<\/p>\n<p>And that brings us back to the conference in Trondheim last summer. Julie Ertman N\u00f8rk\u00e6r Lundsgaard was invited to present her PhD project at the conference when she wasn\u2019t yet pregnant, and as the conference approached, it became clear she was likely to be cradling a tiny baby.<\/p>\n<p>\u00bbI thought, well, since Erling was also going, it would be fine. Then we\u2019d be two people to care for the little one.\u00ab<\/p>\n<h3>An immature sector?<\/h3>\n<p>With its many insecure and short-term employment conditions, academia has been criticised for being a tough environment for parents of young children.<\/p>\n<p>In an interview with the University Post, Rector David Dreyer Lassen previously referred to the university as an \u00bbimmature sector\u00ab.<\/p>\n<p>\u00bbThe university has to be an attractive place to work,\u00ab he said. \u00bbAlso for the new generations, who prioritise different things. It shouldn\u2019t just be hard and exhausting, but also a nice place to be. That\u2019s a competitive factor the university needs to tap into. And that\u2019s where we\u2019re a bit immature as a sector.\u00ab<\/p>\n<p>The young couple agree with this.<\/p>\n<p>\u00bbThe flip side is that there\u2019s enormous flexibility in your working life as a researcher. And that\u2019s a huge advantage when you have small children. I know a lot of people with regular 9-to-5 jobs who are more stressed because they have to be out the door at a specific time,\u00ab says Erling N\u00f8rk\u00e6r.<\/p>\n"},{"acf_fc_layout":"Quote","quote":"I think there has to be a limit to how much the university should adapt to people\u2019s private lives","quotee":"Erling N\u00f8rk\u00e6r","style":"extended"},{"acf_fc_layout":"Content","content":"<p>At the university, you can take a short day if a child suddenly needs to be picked up from daycare. The trade-off is that you have to make up the hours another time. And when one of them suddenly has to go into the office, it helps that they know each other\u2019s work so well.<\/p>\n<p>\u00bbWe understand that the other person\u2019s work is important,\u00ab says Erling N\u00f8rk\u00e6r.<\/p>\n<p><em>But can\u2019t you relate at all to the idea that an academic career easily seeps into your private life?<\/em><\/p>\n<p>\u00bbI think there has to be a limit to how much the university should adapt to people\u2019s private lives. It also has to be a demanding job at a high academic level,\u00ab he says.<\/p>\n<p><em>The current trend is a bit different though. More like: ‘People should accommodate me.’ It doesn\u2019t sound like you\u2019re fully on board with that narrative?<\/em><\/p>\n<p>\u00bbNo, I don\u2019t buy into that at all. At least not when you\u2019ve chosen a job where high expectations are part of the deal. Otherwise, you should find a job that\u2019s a bit less demanding,\u00ab he says.<\/p>\n<p>\u00bbYes \u2014 or one with different conditions, right?\u00ab says Julie Ertman N\u00f8rk\u00e6r Lundsgaard.<\/p>\n<h3>Down to 50 hours<\/h3>\n<p>When Julie Ertman N\u00f8rk\u00e6r Lundsgaard had to do a research internship during her master\u2019s, she and Erling N\u00f8rk\u00e6r moved to the University of Cambridge. That was before they had kids. They worked with another academic couple who had a small child and who therefore had to each cut back their working hours \u2014 to 50 hours a week.<\/p>\n<p>\u00bbYou could definitely sense that the structures at Cambridge were quite old-fashioned. The requirements were just different. Compared to other international universities, UCPH offers good conditions for family life,\u00ab she says.<\/p>\n<p>Later, when the couple returned to the University of Cambridge, it was with a one-year-old daughter and a real childcare juggling act. Grandparents on both sides of the family flew to England to help out, and Julie Ertman N\u00f8rk\u00e6r Lundsgaard\u2019s sister also came to assist. During the periods when they didn\u2019t have help, they took turns working during the day and continued into the evening.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s not sustainable in the long term. And if Julie Ertman N\u00f8rk\u00e6r Lundsgaard and her husband decide to have more children, something in their circumstances will have to change, they say.<\/p>\n<p>They\u2019ve talked about moving abroad for a few years \u2014 perhaps when she becomes a postdoc. They don\u2019t imagine both of them being able to sustain academic careers at a foreign university with two small children, so they\u2019ll have to come up with another plan. Maybe Erling N\u00f8rk\u00e6r will stay home for a while and pursue his interest in literature and writing.<\/p>\n<p><em>So you\u2019ll be a diplomatic spouse?<\/em><\/p>\n<p>\u00bbExactly,\u00ab laughs Erling N\u00f8rk\u00e6r.<\/p>\n<p>\u00bbI think,\u00ab says Julie Ertman N\u00f8rk\u00e6r Lundsgaard, \u00bbit\u2019s about understanding the conditions you have \u2014 and then trying to organise your life accordingly. And sometimes that takes a bit of creative organising.\u00ab<\/p>\n<p><em>This article was first written in Danish and published on 4 August 2025. It has been translated into English and post-edited by Mike Young.<\/em><\/p>\n"},{"acf_fc_layout":"ArticleEnd"},{"acf_fc_layout":"Newsletter","lang_select":"en","identifier":"Newsletter","headline":"Get an email with upcoming events and top University of Copenhagen stories","button_text":"Sign up here","class":""},{"acf_fc_layout":"OtherStories","headline":"","hand_picked_posts":false,"references":false,"category":false,"theme":false,"number_of_posts":"4","style":"default"}]},"taxonomyData":{"category":[{"term_id":4539,"name":"Working environment","slug":"arbejdsmiljoe-en","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":4539,"taxonomy":"category","description":"","parent":0,"count":95,"filter":"raw"}],"post_tag":[],"post_format":[],"expression":[{"term_id":18,"name":"Feature Article","slug":"feature_article","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":18,"taxonomy":"expression","description":"","parent":0,"count":1200,"filter":"raw"}],"translation_priority":[{"term_id":5468,"name":"Optional","slug":"optional-en","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":5468,"taxonomy":"translation_priority","description":"","parent":0,"count":672,"filter":"raw"}]},"featured_media_url":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/08\/dsc_0749_dxo2_kopi-1280x653.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/179526","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/109"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=179526"}],"version-history":[{"count":19,"href":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/179526\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":179665,"href":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/179526\/revisions\/179665"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/179487"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=179526"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=179526"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/uniavisen.dk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=179526"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}